: black and white eroticism. and something mythical about horses in cotton fields. and shifting to a new house with mom and dad. and some dude from the film 'eraserhead'. :

this is trippy.
and i'm not even on anything.
not even caffeine nor candy.

sound of: mew - comforting sounds

sleeping to aereogramme induces dreams about war,
and getting five hundred dollars from dad.

uhm yeah.

outside: music stations on television.

and everyday i wake up.
and question the reason for my existence.
do you do the same thing too?

: standing on a field by a lake with kids from school. kids who i do not recognize. and it was around evening. and i was beyond trigger happy. adjust focus zoom click snap. and i saw the silvery moon rise up between the waters and the sun was shining ever so brightly in the background. it was way too beautiful. this entry does not even justify how beautiful it was. next. me and sisters and father were walking around. we passed by old buildings. an old cinema playing classic malay films. through alleys. we saw an indian wedding. and then maybe a church. but maybe not. and we saw the family. and they looked strange. but they weren't really looking at us. but more so at my younger sister. next. walking with a classmate. she was whining how she got to work at citibank during the holidays and get paid for nothing at all. the lucky bitch. and everywhere we went i saw too many overhead bridges. :

and then the lights went on.

mother said dreams about weddings usually lead to a death in real life. not a pleasant thing to hear during breakfast.

listened to radiohead live at the avalon, boston ma, april 13 1996, on the way to school. "...fade...out...again..."

yesterday, blogger was ill. i think like me, it wasn't feeling too well.

[friday night] in un-chronological order:
: {1} was in desperate need to buy donuts. and they were rather expensive too. i bought a box of small chocolate donuts and they came up to $40.10. or was it $40.90. either one. donut incident was followed by a trip to a gift shop in hopes of searching for something decent but all they sold were magnetic stuffed animals.

{2}got married to a girl. who in real life is already married. (to a boy) and i was so furious that i knocked her head many times.

{3}was in a car. stuck in the middle of a jungle. the driver could’ve taken another route but decided to “fly” over a really huge hole. :

and you know what freud had to say about dreams that incorporate flying, yes? well fuck you freud, i ain’t listenin’ to ya.

song stuck in her head: luven me by nelly.

- - - - - -

[last night] also in un-chronological order:
:{1} had to sit for some exam and the institution was in a strange glass building and after the exam i followed my friends for lunch. it was in the basement. and i took such a long time to decide what to eat and ended up with naan and chicken curry. and the foodcourt was really dark and gloomy and there weren't many people around and even my friends looked...uhm..weird.

{2}train station. with suzy and her boyfriend. they told me to wait before i depart from them. and suzy came back with a gift for me. and it was a brown leather bound photo frame.

{3}constantly surrounded by mirrors. my room had too many mirrors.

{4}sat in snack shop that had a tiny television between the shelves. and i can't remember what was on it. maybe a soccer match. :

it's raining again. hurray!
rockin' out to nirvana's 'incesticide'. uh huh.

i was getting ready to go to a party. and i couldn't make up my mind if i wanted to wear a black belt or a white belt. and in the end, i picked up a pink sash. that party involved magic shows featuring snakes and frogs and some other reptiles.

cut to another scene where i bought tickets for linkin park in a spookified carnival.

cut to another scene where i was in a car and we were going around alleys in search of some hotel. i got out and went to the back of a building and saw a lebanese pizza hut. the food looked great but the people there looked like zombies. :


music this morning is : the man i fell in love with.

: i keep on tripping and running around and everything is caving on me. i am tired. so tired. :

vibrating in her ears: the radio dept (on repeat mode).