17:22hrs au time

"Dear Nadia,

I hear it's the week of your birthday! Did you know that every year around your birthday the Sun returns to the exact position in the sky as it was the day you were born? This is called a Solar Return."

like i care...


so 2 greetings from a career and astrology website. (separate of course) a card from my best friend and lots of hugs from my family. it's good to be remembered. funnily enough i tend to have a 'funeral' of my own but i just attended a real one a couple of hours ago at tobin brothers in north melbourne. vladimir joseph casha you will be sadly missed. my most sincere condolences to the family.

xox

13:18hrs au time

: riding up terraced mountains with beavis the cat dodging aliens who were carrying weed for rifles and jumping off cliffs. :

so. a dad dying from cancer.
a baby on the way.
and a wedding in the near future.
feels like i live in a fuckin' soap...


listen to spacehorse.

16:01hrs au time

been dreaming of my dad. last nite

: he told me he needed to alter his pants and we sat on the sand and faced a really large ocean and looked at all the little boats floating on the water. it was beautiful. and he hugged me and said he loved me. i reciprocated and woke up this morning sobbing uncontrollably.:

it was the best 20min sleep since way back when.

i don't drink coke.

but coke zero is yummy.

14:55 au time

: of jigsaw puzzle champions. of cults in schools. and a man-made god standing at the altar. he almost reached the ceiling, dressed in white cloth and he didn't have a face. just a black head. i think he was made of plaster. i don't know. the school canteen didn't have much food but the bread was delicious. next. a giant came wandering from the woods and wanted to live with us so we made space in the barn for him. :

i hate my teeth.

melbourne, australia. 23:33 au time.

over the past 4 nites, i dreamt of:

: tomato flavoured tobacco. looking at postcards with pictures of naked indian gods. involved in a huge science experiment. genetics and clones. and the labs were in a huge airplane with many alleys and rooms and white curtains and big televisions. of an old highschool classmate and a mutual friend who drove me to a mall to look at messenger bags. :

please write me. whoever you are.
winter is coming and i feel cold.
literally and metaphorically...

: 1. being in a big empty house and looking at looking at the spot where there should be a room but for some reason, the walls were torn down. 2. went to france and italy and italy had the best food. although really, italy didnt look like italy. had these weird banana ice cream deserts which came in different shapes and i had the one in yoda, but of course. 3. witnessed a fight between a couple of kids under the stairs. punches and swinging fists and curses and bruises.

my final dream entry from the 13th floor in singapore.

thank you to all who made my last 10 months a wonderful one.

appreciate the sound of silence.

if you repeat something long enough, often enough, it will end up being true.

whether be real, whether be not.

and it doesn't matter anymore really.

because trust is a game with no rules and no umpires.

and it's a constant juggling act with you as the juggler and being juggled.

be careful and alert.

walk steadily with your sight forwards and at the rear.

---

still the dreams are related to work.

but once, : a friend from across oceans wrote me a note saying,

"sister sister

cocaine is bad for you." :

was that a warnning or just a collage of illusions?


listen to karate.