invaded by fear and paranoia as of late.

: (i) him running after a japanese girl. (how cheap is that?) (ii) she was out and i was not aware but apparently it was in the news and she wanted to hang out with him. him only. to talk and listen to music. and she was knocked up during the absence and i was supposed to understand. :

the more you tell yourself not to care.
the more it bothers the fuck out of you.

you think paranoia will fade as you get older.
you gotta think again.

---
some afternoon dreams today included unknown visitors at my new place and i was informed about a resident ghost. it was freaky and funny and dumb at the same time.

---
dreams are meant to be shattered.
you plan, build and construct for x number of years.
you destruct in x number of seconds.

stating the obvious obviously.
but we're clothed in denial.
no matter how much we try to deny it.

listen to the smiths.

as of late:
: airplane crashes. switch of sexual partners. death and visiting the houses of the dead. there had to be some dreams of lessons too. somewhere in between. :

i'm fucking tired of waiting.
someone should slit my throat for giving a damn.

now why is it i'm not aware of world asthma day.
hrm...
many puns i can make of it but i shall not.
instead, i'll just make a lil reminder on here so maybe i'll be able to remember about it in future. the first tuesday of may. why?
beats me.

now.
if you have a choice,
between an asthma attack and drowning?
which would you prefer?
it's not an easy choice.
and i said "if".

listen to the devils in my ears whispering of the beautiful barren land from the underside. come come, my darling. forget and erase.
chopping off my locks seems like a great idea too.

as of 06.06.07,

greysweater/gryswtr is eight years old.

it's been a sweet journey and it ain't stoppin'.

hearts, souls, minds and felines.

.xxx.

from across the sea.

: part of some game show where we had to work in teams. where we managed some television cum radio show and it was really crazy with a lot of people climbing on top of you (literally) and drawing on the ceiling. lots of laundry and living in funny houses. and at the end we had to body surf over some crazy crowd and we were given some free magazines. oh, the horror. timewarped into melbourne and was on the same bus with this girl i used to know who worked in a record shop i used to frequent. and she spoke to me and i missed my stop and she got off at chinatown and i had to get off at the last stop at some deadly ghost town. and i took the train and ended up at changi airport in singapore and met some acquaintances who were in the midst of some work test. :

standstill.
i wish it was all normal again.

does the number of hours count, really.
does it make it any more valid.
does it justify every single action, gesture, movement.

fuck all.

i don't need your glory.

: full blown lesson at the madrasah. for some unknown reason, i wrote my full name on the whiteboard. instead of them doing a test, i had to go through half of the testpaper with the class as most of them had trouble comprehending. (which is usually the case in trl). my next lesson was at xps and the teacher in charge reminded us not to be friends with anyone from myanmar as they were mostly murderers. that was plain silly and xenophobic of her to make such a comment. one of the students was an ex-classmate from college and i sort of denied that because i did not want to re-live the past nor speak of forgotten memories. :

: was on a trip with the family and i stopped at a treehouse-store and took a photo with a hat shaped like a turtle shell. apparently themed after my favourite cartoon, rahrin the turtle. (what the...?) :

who's rahrin? i don't knowww rahrin...

--->
my entire face sucked in and my head branched into two. fingers sprouted from my fingers, hands from my hands, almost clutching my head and my body...when my laptop had teeth and started biting the air. quiet, numb and blurry vision.
<---

thirty seconds of escapism...