: black. white. brown. and traces of red all over. pornographic shower scenes. faces. faces. faces everywhere. cut to where i blindly accept a cigarette. and we're running away. and one of the kids was slowly transforming into a cop. run. run. run. you can run but you can never hide. constantly *their* voices "it's all about choice" zaps in and out. in and out. non stop. while i try not to drown. in that diamond sea. :

---
there might be something wrong with myself.
-->
disorder : rating
paranoid: very high
schizoid: very high
schizotypal: very high
antisocial: high
borderline: very high
histrionic: moderate
narcissistic: very high
avoidant: moderate
dependent: high
obsessive-compulsive: high
<--
url of the test: here
url for more info: here

thank you dewi.
---

sound : devotchka

long distance relationships + the one am radio = not good.

: whirlwind between injections and people from college annoying me thinking they can recognize songs by new order and sitting for exams and stuff. :

too early for sounds. but the one in my head is of tristeza.
and i might just slip the 10"...just about...now!

: was hanging out with a friend from perth; b.c. and he was strangely trying to escape from someone's apartment by climbing over the fence and i was looking out for him. and the house that we lived in (on the other side of the road) was in a weird flat-like building. and instead of door numbers, our address was determined by our bed numbers. kinda like in a hospital. kinda like in an asylum. next.

woodstock festival in korea and checking out their cigarettes. and i was supposed to see this goth band in some wooden hut but i wasn't bothered in waiting for them to show up. next.

missing link! (in melbourne, australia of course.) their capacity had somehow doubled or tripled. and they changed the entire layout. and had too many records. they also had all sorts of stationery but most importantly, record mailers which are definitely very handy. i can't remember what records i got. mostly under constellation, some cd samplers and a video of sodastream. and all the staff were singing "love is in the air." :

a couple of nights ago:
: i was strangled by the devil. :
woke up with an asthma attack. typical.

* between 1630-1800 hrs today,
: my mixtape club was made into a tv show. :
woke up shouting and lulu's paws in my hair.

sound : bright eyes / squadcar 96 7"

: lots of people wanting to invade my room. and my father sending me off to art school that was in a prison. :

i need new books. recommendations please.

this morning i listened to the song of zarathustra 10". it was wonderful.

* happy earth-birth-earth day dearest nadra. *

i wanna scoop out my eyeballs. especially the left one. it hurts really bad. and it is all due to "emotional unstability"*. is that* a valid phrase? you should know what i mean, anyway.

: (in no chronological order) analyzing 80's madonna videoclips. one of which was called heartbeat. and debating how unconventional she was because despite the pop art, she used royal pain fonts. taking group photos outside a war museum-library. drawings of mohawks on the walls. and there were statues of sid and nancy on the rooftops. free confectionery given out at uni. and i opted for the floppy disks that were blue with printed white stars. foodcourt scene: thai beef noodles and had a terrible time getting a drink. most of the drink stalls were closed and there was one that sold soya bean and marijuana. another one had soyabean and sprite and some weird orange drink. then the vendors were arguing that the price was 2.50$ and not 2.40$. yes, i was confused. more stuff but i can't remember. :

sounds today have been : the jam session , bright calm blue, hey mercedes and a mix tape featuring australian bands (of various genres).

: i bought the 'journal of journals' book for 14$. second hand, hard cover and it was about 1000 pages and i had to pay for it at the cafeteria. then i argued with the chef regarding how to cook pasta and then someone said my book was really worth it. and that at other shops it would have probaby been two hundred$ or so. whatever. :

and on the previous night,
: i was staying at an army barracks. and i was helping the soldiers to write suicide notes. on enlarged m&m packets. i also stole lots of envelopes from a nearby stationery shop. :

my stereo is back. and in wonderful condition.
back to mix tape making action.

sound : le shok 7"s

ML1-7-2 : you are a horrible computer. you make my screens flicker and disappear. you eat my emails. and your server is horribly slow.
i hate you. die die die die die die.

mixtape titled: 'bender bending rodriguez' has been rocking my socks.
impressive bands on said tape: vermont, million dead (who would believe it's ex-kneejerk!), amalgamation and acabah rot.
i love acabah rot. thank you, a.d.m. you rule like no other.

last friday i watched i am sam. good sountrack. ok story.
sean penn did a great job. and that's about it.
rating: 6/10

still reading fante. education priorities are getting in the way.

and the dreams have been about people that do strange things and going on holiday with *him* and all that jazz that don't really need much to be said.

too many records piled up at home.
oh, turntable, when will you grace the lovely floors of home...i miss you.