: never had vertigo but over here i did. for the first time when i entered that steely walled glass elevator. from floor 7 to 20 and back to 7 again. i was meant to teach a bunch of high school students. but they weren't there and i was relieved. and i had that elevator phobia like the girl in 'dance dance dance' by murakami. before or after, i met some kids who i had known before and we were meant to go record shopping but things kept coming in between. dingy chinese coffeeshops, strange indonesian teenagers, rain and blood on the pavement. we never got to the place intended. :

strange bitter aftertaste on this tongue.
too much medication says the literate labrat.

sound : love like electrocution mp3

: (went to sleep at 10pm) instantly it was dark. and i was at home. waiting for the car. dad arrived. but not just yet. lulu the cat was outside. which is strange. cos she never goes outside. another tulip had bloomed. once everything was in place, i began my journey. a constant series of mind fuckery. at the hospital. by the balcony. in college. we were then connected by the house. the code word was 'college one-oh-one'. we were served boiled spinach. i was asked if i wanted a beer but i said no. it was a human size game of risk and monopoly but nobody was playing us. we were the players. i then discovered we were part of an experiment by french/german sociologists. i was given a choice. to stop or carry on. i chose to stop. :

i woke up.

: 1. a phonecall from mr jason slack and i went to hang out with him at the railway tracks. back to the institution's study area and i was stuck with kids from the math and engineering faculty. 2. found myself in a japanese supermarket with father. everyone looked zombi-esque and they couldn't accept credit cards due to some technological failure but at least i got my beverages. :

media text and audiences is a bullshit subject.
what on earth am i slaving for?

sound : the hives 'veni vidi vicious' cd

: of monochrome trains and a baby boy that in some ways resembled myself. physically. day one delivered, day two talked and rolled, day three he could stand up and make tea. scary. sent my grandmother off to a concert and she went via a super old school mercedes benz that looked liked a new york cabby. and while she was still on the street, i saw three of the aussie kids from class contemplating over trainers. scene shifts back to my room and a girl was showing off her 'chap-teh' skills. then i coerced some kid to listen to ethel meserve. :

p.s. chap-teh is an old school game played by asian kids.

sound : 'sweden rocks' comp cd-r courtesy of david ranman

: riding in a hot air balloon with a blonde rocky/sly stallone-esque type. suddenly he decided to bungee jump in the middle of nowhere and that wasn't very cool at all. studied some cult from an asylum and watched them perform rituals in the ocean. :

sound : sonic youth 'washing machine' cd

: recurring moments of black buildings and running around in circles and people from the institution. same faces same dialogues. too much paranoia. (dream master, i demand you give them back to me!!!) at some point, i was asking someone to make the distinction between nick cave and nick drake. and i still don't get it besides the kylie minogue reference. oh well. also, i was searching for hitchcok films but like in our so called reality, they weren't/aren't there when you need them. :

sound : wondering how nick drake sounds like

: went to the raddest comic shop on earth. and the boss (who is a young lady, mind you. not some fat whacked middle aged bozo with a ponytail and bad stubble.) reserved me a supercool spiderman book. was tempted to buy the itchy&scratchy clock and sme futurist comics. a girl i hate from school was working there as well so i had to be nice to her. argh. then i went to scavenge for food. and sat on a bench. and there was this vending like machine that if you risked your life, you could win 1000$. this is how it worked: you place a dollar in the slot and go into the machine. first you'll be drowned with water. then dried up with some gas. and finally punched and kicked for about half an hour or so. the last person i saw in the machine was a man in a business suit and he had a hole in his forehead. more dreams came after or before...one was about some kid with fake teeth. :

sound : i,robot...i,robot...i,robot...