wonder what sort of dreams it would induce? hahaha!
---
21 hours to go.
and counting.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
last night
: (i) moved into a new apartment. at the topmost level. where the walls, flooring, furniture are white. and it had a super nice view. was expecting a dead body in the closet but none of the sort happened. (ii) supposed to watch a movie of the little prince. butmissed the first screening and instead got tickets of a sci-fi film 'stars of the galaxy'. tickets for the movies however were sold at a building across the cinema and when i was about to purchase snacks, we were caught in a group of youths busy taking photos of themselves. :
night of 270904 (bukit batok singapore)
: (1) dark and stormy night. in a boat with some friends. upon reaching the shore, friends walked away and i was left in the boat and apparently i had died. saw them smoking, drinking and frolicking outside a hotel and in a way i was glad i did not follow their footsteps. (2) aunty diana came to me and asked why i did not inform her about my older sister's marriage and i told her i would mail her the photos. after she walked away, i realized she was dead and i was at her wake a few hours ago.* (3) saw how the nickname 'suragani' came about. and while the place was not as exact, attire and gestures of protagonist matched the bill.* :
* lucid dreaming.
* it may just be dreams but i believe there's more to it.
: (i) moved into a new apartment. at the topmost level. where the walls, flooring, furniture are white. and it had a super nice view. was expecting a dead body in the closet but none of the sort happened. (ii) supposed to watch a movie of the little prince. butmissed the first screening and instead got tickets of a sci-fi film 'stars of the galaxy'. tickets for the movies however were sold at a building across the cinema and when i was about to purchase snacks, we were caught in a group of youths busy taking photos of themselves. :
night of 270904 (bukit batok singapore)
: (1) dark and stormy night. in a boat with some friends. upon reaching the shore, friends walked away and i was left in the boat and apparently i had died. saw them smoking, drinking and frolicking outside a hotel and in a way i was glad i did not follow their footsteps. (2) aunty diana came to me and asked why i did not inform her about my older sister's marriage and i told her i would mail her the photos. after she walked away, i realized she was dead and i was at her wake a few hours ago.* (3) saw how the nickname 'suragani' came about. and while the place was not as exact, attire and gestures of protagonist matched the bill.* :
* lucid dreaming.
* it may just be dreams but i believe there's more to it.
Saturday, September 25, 2004
karate - what is sleep?
for two hours before i sleep.
i make my problems come to me.
for five minutes before i wake.
i understand, i understand, i understand.
what is heavy, when you're weak.
when you're awake for days, what is sleep?
for 5 minutes before i wake.
i understand, i understand, i understand.
you all just stand by. you all just stand by.
you all just stand by.
---
and when the eyes approach slumberland,
there is no turning back.
ever.
for two hours before i sleep.
i make my problems come to me.
for five minutes before i wake.
i understand, i understand, i understand.
what is heavy, when you're weak.
when you're awake for days, what is sleep?
for 5 minutes before i wake.
i understand, i understand, i understand.
you all just stand by. you all just stand by.
you all just stand by.
---
and when the eyes approach slumberland,
there is no turning back.
ever.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
coincidence part 2.
talking about death at 0100hrs.
reading about death at 0200hrs.
writing about death at 0300hrs.
going to the hospital to visit an aunt who almost died at 1100hrs.
received news of a family friend who died at 2000hrs.
received news of a friend's neighbour who committed suicide at 2100hrs.
one after another.
and it makes me wonder even more why i survived it 9 months ago.
this dream that we're living in.
when will i wake up from it.
here's a special thank you note for everyone who has made this nine months' existence tolerable. you know who you are. i do not have to mention any names.
addendum 0344hrs 22092004
fuck all of you.
i am spreading myself with iodine.
talking about death at 0100hrs.
reading about death at 0200hrs.
writing about death at 0300hrs.
going to the hospital to visit an aunt who almost died at 1100hrs.
received news of a family friend who died at 2000hrs.
received news of a friend's neighbour who committed suicide at 2100hrs.
one after another.
and it makes me wonder even more why i survived it 9 months ago.
this dream that we're living in.
when will i wake up from it.
here's a special thank you note for everyone who has made this nine months' existence tolerable. you know who you are. i do not have to mention any names.
addendum 0344hrs 22092004
fuck all of you.
i am spreading myself with iodine.
Saturday, September 18, 2004
pinback - summer of abbadon. 2004.
: was staring at my reflection in the restroom of an airport and my hair was all static so i had to keep on applying water to it and after a while, it was ok. the restroom attendant was a strange old indian lady shorter than me and spoke to me in a language i could not recognize and she even made eye contact with me which didn't feel too well. :
: (i) at a girl's place in singapore. i do not know who nor why i was there. but the family was nice. sort of. (ii) witnessed a domestic helper switch keys around and sneak in to another person's flat without knowing. :
: forced to read a holy text. it was easy for me but reading it with no heart just seemed pointless. :
: of restaurants and jockeys and funny telepathic text messages and white cars in a parking lot. :
was never fond of white cars.
my 'punkrock' days of 2000 seem to be resurrecting. not fun, i tell you.
no fun at all.
: was staring at my reflection in the restroom of an airport and my hair was all static so i had to keep on applying water to it and after a while, it was ok. the restroom attendant was a strange old indian lady shorter than me and spoke to me in a language i could not recognize and she even made eye contact with me which didn't feel too well. :
: (i) at a girl's place in singapore. i do not know who nor why i was there. but the family was nice. sort of. (ii) witnessed a domestic helper switch keys around and sneak in to another person's flat without knowing. :
: forced to read a holy text. it was easy for me but reading it with no heart just seemed pointless. :
: of restaurants and jockeys and funny telepathic text messages and white cars in a parking lot. :
was never fond of white cars.
my 'punkrock' days of 2000 seem to be resurrecting. not fun, i tell you.
no fun at all.
Friday, September 17, 2004
: went to a cafe to meet up with friends and was introduced to newlyweds. a japanese lady married to an american caucasian man. sujikawa kagamoto was a country girl who went to the city and sold jeans and one thing led to another and now she's a yuppie. :
: was in a cable car in germany and took a photo of the new trains. it's kinda like the batman ride at goldcoast, australia. or is it the superman? i think it's the batman. where you go up 90 degrees vertically. anyways, the tracks folded up like origami once the trains passed by. pretty neat. :
team boo makes me smile.
it is a huge task to smile these days. and especially when you're standing at the edge of a cliff and there isn't much air to breathe and once you fall, you realize you don't know how to swim.
: was in a cable car in germany and took a photo of the new trains. it's kinda like the batman ride at goldcoast, australia. or is it the superman? i think it's the batman. where you go up 90 degrees vertically. anyways, the tracks folded up like origami once the trains passed by. pretty neat. :
team boo makes me smile.
it is a huge task to smile these days. and especially when you're standing at the edge of a cliff and there isn't much air to breathe and once you fall, you realize you don't know how to swim.