: so me and miss y was on our way to london. and before that i went over to her place and whilst she was packing, i thought of going online. had a choice to user her tv but opted for the computer. and on top of the computer, there was this small rectangular tv. (kinda like a processor) and it was really really odd. i didn't actually get to go online though. as i was lingering around the house, i suddenly pulled out some very strange looking cable from my pocket.

then we were in singapore. and there were some sort of festivals. strange ornaments and decorations. very cuban.

after that, a boy from class started talking about music and loaned me a book about the birthday party. (funnily enough, it is by a person who is a cultural studies professor in australia.)

finally, a geeky boy aged 12 with thick glasses was walking around the institution holding a huge white vanguard sheet with the words 'mix tape club' and i thought i might help him out. :

this is from matt (tickle tickle):
mattkillsyou: oh oh! i almost forgot!
mattkillsyou: i remembered my dream from my nap today
mattkillsyou: and you were in it
mattkillsyou: you and i were in a train station for some reason and we couldn't find something, and random people kept arguing with us.
mattkilmattkillsyou: so then we left and went to a park and started spouting cliched philosophy
nadia: examples of cliched philosophy?
mattkillsyou: i don't remember exactly, but it involved a lot of looking at the sky and whimsical questions

me and train stations. again.

music: bis

so my holidays are over. bastard.

:matt(tickle tickle)'s screen name was 'fugazi' and he came online to tell me he had just purchased the 101 cd. (real life fact: he has never heard the 101.) then i hung out with older sis to find the perfect pair of bowling shoes but it never happened. they had the weirdest vans with pointed toes. i saw a pair of blue converse with blue laces and printed white stars but i put it back. i then found big sis playing a video game with some kid and i wandered around the store. it was supposed to be a shoe store but it had old issues of nme and national geographic and bad videos. finally i got to play a game with big sis. and it was a weird game but i can't remember what. suddenly i'm in the game. and everytime i win, i get to choose a type of 'strength'. by the 2nd victory, i was made to slit the heart of a crab. it was strange. like a human body that has been skinned and all that was left was the flesh but it was a crab. then mother decided to bring me home. scene goes to an office of a lecturer, and i start tearing the styrofoam walls down. and then i'm in a class about to sit for a test and everybody sat next to me hoping they could copy the answers. the fools. :

music has been nervous gender.

been waking up at 545am every day for 3 consecutive days. does not matter what time i go to bed. it’s like an omen. when i used to wake up at 3am for a week last year. dreams have been about abandoned houses and dark alleys.

and on the night of april 10 2003
i was climbing up a steep mountain of concrete. these steps filled with buddhist statues and bright red flowers. flowers of many variants. and siddhartha was there. his hair was long and silky and jet black. then i was in a supermarket. but i forget what i was doing there. next, i saw my cat sitting in a pot of boiling coffee. she did not seem to mind it at all.my mother wanted a haircut badly. we went up the stairs of a very old house but the hairdresser was not there.

and on the night of april 11 2003
i was sitting in the meadows with miss s and she was dancing to the music playing from a purple stereo. then i was supposed to cut my fingernails but that did not happen.

- spot a similar theme with the haircut and fingernails? yeah, i thought so too.

and last night, i was discussing some mathematical formulas with a lecturer. she seemed impressed with my familiarity of mathematical jargon. this dream i believe has no meaning. but what is meaning anyway.

bother.

music has been nintendocore. woo.

dear gryswtr blog,

i'm sorry i have not been updating you regularly.
don't worry, i'm not two timing you even though i have other journals elsewhere.
their content is different. "it's not you. it's me. "
also, i've not been sleeping very well or sleeping at all.
so dreams come and go. i have one from april 10 2003.
and i will let you know about it when i return from the institution later.

xox.

listening to pinback before sleep has induced the following:
: mr deller wrote a few children's books. can't remember the the one i read but had some of my poetry in it and the illustrations were mad crazy. i was living in a hotel that overlooked a weird park. was made to go father's mother's grave but that didn't happen. then i was stuck in the mall with a bunch of 18yr old kids with weird gadgets. also, i had to go to the institution to collect some things. there were too many buses. :

sunday nite
of karate/judo/sumo fighters. of driving huge army tanks in a warehouse. the army tank was sorta battery operated and my job was to drive it around while others had to shift huge boxes of stationery. their tanks had weird curtains. a girl wanted my mobile phone number. and when she called, it was from a uk based phone. i saw malcolm. and then i saw some kid called darcy. and then i saw my younger sister camping by the railtracks smoking weed. and then i went back to the old house. and there were heaps of packages and letters for me. it was too overwhelming. and then i woke up.

saturday nite
a girl got trapped in a vampire's house. but it was like a longhouse. entirely made of wood. then she was wrapped around in white cloth like a mummy but her head was visible. she spun round and round the house while everybody tried to stab her and cut off her arms and slice her body. she managed to stab the head vampire with a mannequin and then the entire film shifts into another scene where mother was cradling a newborn baby boy.

albums : burn piano island burn + eat lightning shit thunder

last nite
trapped in a very dark tunnel and chased by yellow beasts with super huge fangs. we were supposed to be saved by some forest rangers but they turned out to be vampires instead. same when i was in a diy discotheque and the security guard was about to get it on but i had kung fu skills so that was cool. then later on, i met dave grohl and i was elevated into the sky with wings on my back. i felt like a flying monkey from the wizard of oz.

monday nite
they didn't give me any anasethetics . i was on the operating table, eyes wide open, hands completely cuffed. maybe in a straightjacket. no, they were going to scoop out my throat. i saw the knives. i saw their evil sparkles behind the white masks. blinded by the lasers, i am suddenly awake and walking towards my mother. she was extremely worried and concerned. where was my wheelchair? this corridor is empty. no nurses, no patients. not very enlightening. i looked into the mirror. three stitches. only.

hello from my 13dayold computer.
music has been pinback.