i've been sleeping on the floor these past few days. the dreams spin and swirl like no other. and memory has been reworking itself it's far beyond crazy.

stuff i remember.

:going to a battle of the bands type o thing at a very old disco in a very old mall. i come in time to witness two devo looking boys playing covers of the faint and me telling them to rock on.:

:off to the far away city dragging a trunk. while aragon-esque leads the way and a black cat ala salem pulls a trolley. we reach there despite several obstacles. dragons and villages on fire. and the city is an apartment. we were meant to go to level 4. but the lift goes down instead of up. and in the room, there are crabs. i cut a crab open to get its eggs and it then transfigures into a tabby cat. awesome.:

sound: lots of new music thanks to malcolm

: he taught me how to murder. with a knife. what type. how sharp. when. and how. and the school suddenly ablazed and everything was gloomy and everything was choatic. fire and flood. :

other nights i have dreamt about :

: a bowl of snakes. and close relatives dying. :

sound: the new pornographers

once

:her teeth was peeling into strips of pure white.:

once
:makeoutmedia.com splashed around into strips of red with horses for icons.:

and once
:everything was black and black and black and faces with no features.:

avoiding the internet past few days have been good.
people from sweden are nice. especially the no-wave ones.

sound: snowsuit*

some previous nights.
: was teaching english to a bunch of first graders. i made them create tiger masks out of paper plates and colour them in. some kids insisted they colour the faces pink and purple instead of orange. then i gave them grammar sheets and everything went well and i was happy. :

then last night
: i was stuck in uni doing essays on jewish literature. not very good. :

woke up and received an email from kid a who's reading on some jewish scholar. what the hey.

oh and the other night
: re-enactment of fairy tales. wizard of ox and willy wonka but in a dark swampy atmosphere.:

no i do not want to be psychoanalyzed.
thank you.

sound : julie doiron

records i do not want anymore.
colour of vinyl in brackets.

lps
devo – new traditionalists (black)
devo – freedom of choice (black)
kerosene 454 – no title. no cover. no insert. will be super cheap. (black)
spread the disease – the sheer force of inertia (white)

10”s
cursive / silver scooter (black)
i-spy – revenge of the little shits (black)
pollyanna – effervescence (black)
the vitreous humour – self titled e.p (black)

7”s
behead the prophet no lord shall live – live 7” on outpunk (black)
bender useless – s/t (black)
car vs driver – on lunchbox records (black)
edsel – no. 5 recitative on jade tree (black)
elizabeth herz – on old glory (clear)
fuel – take effect (black)
godhead silo – the friendship village e.p (black)
grade – on wheatfield press (black)
iconoclast – groundlessness of belief (black)
iconoclast – s/t (black)
jara – on ebullition (black)
jejune / lazycain – split 7”. both bands covering the smiths. (white)
leslie – s/t on jade tree (clear)
native nod – bread (black)
native nod – new compositions and arrangements for the zither (black)
scout – tomato (black)

i will trade or sell.
they will be cheap. depending on who you are. hahaha.

sound: bad english

sunday night
: was on tour with an australian family of three. they were fair blonde blue eyed and their daughter was about 10 or 11 years old. i do not know which country or city we were in but anyway the bus stopped by the street and we headed for a comic store. we went in and it was more like a haunted palace or perhaps like dracula's (the cabaret restaurant in melbourne). we were greeted by a vampire at the entrance. i said good morning to him but he replied with good afternoon oh so effeminately. australian family went to look at clothes while i went to look at figurines. suddenly i was kidnapped by a bunch of "soldiers", one of them resembling stephen dorff - the actor. however, it was only a game and before letting me go, dorff requested to be photographed with me as i looked really mod. (what the hell.) we then left the store and daughter of about 10 or 11 years old showed me the tshirt she purchased that had many nice faces of spiderman. our next destination was a japanese restaurant and their main specialty was deep fried snakes. you sit at the table, choose your snake, and they deep fry it alive in hot oil with batter. i didn't have any. i wandered around in the adjoining hotel only to be awoken by lulu the cat who was taking pride in licking my elbow. :

saturday night
: was on holiday in china. and they had the best supermarket ever. i think i spent about two hours in there. too many variations of dr pepper and root beer. our tour group was supposed to go to vietnam next but some insisted they go to saudi first. which was such a hassle and very annoying. :

last night
: something about supermarkets again and buying lots of post rock records. i think i was married too but that one was a bit vague and non too interesting. :

today i received the blogger mug.
you rule.

sound: for some strange reason i'm listening to the lazarus plot 7".
do not ask me why.

: received a pair of ear rings from a really good friend of mine. that was so cool of her. and then i lived in a house with 5 other kids who had a problem with doing their laundry and so that was really bad and uncool of them. :

i am ill again. bastard of a nose.

sound : bright eyes / the album leaf - collaboration series no.1 7"
(fuck yeah this is good stuff.)

: had a swedish boyfriend. couldn't understand a word he said and i left him somewhere. went record shopping with andronaut which was fun, naturally. and then i had a baking session with one of my mates but i can't remember who. :

sound: belle and sebastian

: weezer was supposed to play in my neighbourhood. it was one of those mtv surprise things. but then it didn’t happen and all these ska-punk bands arrived instead. in another scene, n sync came over and performed in a mall and sang in indonesian. that was like really odd. and grandmother was pleased. :

sound : jettie / postman 7"

: too many people buying tacky pianos. red or yellow or white. seinz or steinz. it was just too odd. everything seemed like a swirl that happened in less than an hour. :

i miss you andronaut.

sound : badly drawn boy - 'once around the block'

:south african ladies making a huge fuss in the restrooms. pulling out lots and lots of tissue paper and covering up their noses. i went into one of the cubicles and just sat on the seat pondering over stuff when one of my lecturers barged in, asked me what food i hated and gave me an injection on the left shoulder. had to attend some strange college. i was made to bring home super heavy textbooks. one of them was 'intro to biology' but the contents were all philosophical bullshit. at home, i gave [R] a message by writing it on orange peel. :

i hate being ill.
i want to watch tv all day.
tv makes you stupid.
tv makes you normal.

sound : the state secedes - s/t cd

: japanese backpacks. chapels in a forest. illegal immigrants living in abandoned warehouses. art exhibitions. and half eaten chocolates. :

naturally, halloween was a day filled with cliched events.
viewing of nightmare before christmas on dvd.
scaring mother with the scream mask.
and listening to arab strap (?!)

sound : million dead - 'come on sharon' (it's sher-ron not share-run)

06:00hrs
:(i)me in a car with s and L and spock. had to stop over somewhere due to a roadblock. policeman came inside and started getting jiggy with L. (ii)paranoia for the oncoming 'media text and audiences' exam tomorrow. and kids were boycotting classes. (iii)was living in a strange apartment that was kinda dingy and still under construction. and i stayed on the highest level. and i was about to climb onto the window and hang out there when the cleaners came in. (iv)big sister working for some travel agency. (v)L and d living in a hotel in a mall. and me and s went to visit. and some 14 year old chica just gave a blowjob to a boy sucking a lollipop in a wheelchair. (vi)missing link again. i purchased too many 7"s and thus had to use the credit card. (vii)some dude wanted to refurnish his restaurant and make it look all poshy. as usual, i couldn't be arsed. :

sound : dressy bessy

: one. there was some project about working in a water system building. and kids were not being cooperative. two. was watching tv in a hostel / apartment type and l came over and she had cut her hair super short. it was almost freaky. three. me and another girl had 'adopt' a pair of girls. identical twins. our job was to go to as many carnivals / fun fairs as possible. i wanted to go skydiving but the kid i was looking after wasn't that interested. bore. they were only 45$ too. score!!! :

sound : three mile pilot

:sexual activities with the most sexual kid ever. for those who know, it's that dancer kid boy from class. urgh. went driving around a small town and came across a record store promoting keith welsh's new album. then i went to the parking lot and that was really spooky as the steps were going round and round in spirals and mazes like as if i was trapped in a labyrinth.:

sound : french hip hop compilation cd.

pre-halloween stuff.

: me and some girl went into the basement of our college and inside all the other kids were dressed up like freaks ans ghouls and whatnots and were about to watch some documentary on murder. i sat beside a green demon. she beside frankenstein i think. it was a pretty gory documentary but it wasn't that bad.then we sat around in a circle and a couple of lesbians tried to ruin the scene but to no avail. some kid was walking around with an axe. i was bored. i went home. :

sound : i have been listening to the pixies as of late.

: mother insisted i buy a dvd copy of hello dolly. (personally, i have no idea if such a film exists in the 1st place.) didn't see it and looked around for remains of the day but that too was unavailable. prior or after, me and mother went to jimmy ahmed's house. it was superly huge with super grand furniture and with lots of peacock feathers. (fans of vs naipaul would be familiar with this jimmy ahmed character.) i think harry potter was in this dream somewhere but i vaguely remember. :

sleep has been sporadic. and so has online access.
i have been watching more television than usual.
but perhaps that is a symptom of finalexaminationphobia.

sound : late nineties australian screamo

:: what could be more worse than having david wanker come over to my place and speaking to my mother about plato. and later showing him the special features from the ghostworld dvd. and later me going to an all girl band alldayer where they played the same riffs over. and over. and over. again.::

someone should buy me the blogger messenger bag and mug for my birthday. or for just because reasons.

thank you!

sound: smashing pumpkins - 'tonight, tonight'.

and so the comments are neither here nor there. i do not know what happened. for those who know me personally or virtually may contact me via snail mail or email or through text messaging should they need to comment on future entries. and for the past week or so the dreams have been about rain, lost camels at the library and the reunion of new kids on the block. although joseph mcintyre was rather hesitant about it. a scary one last night was about me having to move into a room with all these scary looking ladies. i believe it is the devil's work.oh yes.

1151pm: and so they decide to return.

xox

*at a million miles an hour*

so this is it. i will be leaving the house in ten hours.
destination: saudi arabia.

the walk in the park in the morning was pretty.
music in ears: christie front drive
note to self: cfd = good for walking, bad for driving.
(if you are the driver, i.e.)

write me if you want to. for whatever reason.

take care all.

xox

: meeting up with blur. and their latest single is called 'dance, dance, dance'. perhaps they are heavily influenced by haruki murakami. or perhaps not. the same people keep re-curring every now and then. and paranoia is getting the better of me. :

two more days. two more days i tell you.
and i am so out of here.

sound : watercolour 'american worries'
(they sound like rem! and i love it!)
thanks to mr malcolm for the hush hush 'music for headphones' mixtape!

: of twins and 1960's revolutions. had to give a speech at a demonstration while the 'pigs' were at it. and a series of madhouse incidents coupled by murders. and documentaries and teachers from many moons ago. i was forced to read a few books and memorize them but i was not bothered and ripped each page out one by one. :

i hate people.

sound : damn dirty apes, city of caterpillar, i,robot...

: was in norwich and buying xxxmas presents. got a tiny singing gnome the size of my thumb. (mind you, i do not have a very big thumb.) then i saw this woman and her kids stealing donuts. that was kinda weird. this was in a different city now, i am not sure where. had to attend a meeting somewhere and before that i went to their 7-11, and had the weirdest sandwich. the conference was kinda odd. they were distributing packets of candy. suddenly i was running and i went into this restaurant and hid behind the white curtains. but they found me. nothing happened. then i'm in a car. travelling through another city. which is almost dark and gothic...water surrounding everywhere. people were jet skiing and there were the best dvd shops ever. it was supposed to a town in malaysia but the taxi driver or the person who drove us was mumbling something. into sportsgirl and i met one of my lecturers. she showed me a photo of her modelling for sportsgirl. i didn't know what to say...:

the previous night (from 3am-5am):
: grandmother was talking about marriage. i was screaming my head off. there were two kittens flying from window to window. and moments later they transformed into children. it was kinda scary. :

just one more day to go and my mind will be out of this institution.
hell yeah.

sound: evergreen discography cd-r

: went to rome. that looked like 19th century paris from the hotel balcony. and 20th century italy when you were in town. very odd. very strange. insisted i bought souvenirs of the city. they only had porcelain flowers and creatures. then i stumbled onto the weirdest carviar and crisps. and that was what i bought. hotel room scene and i managed to unplug the phone line and hook it up to this super slim monitor and keyboard and access the w-w-w. more things happened along the way...but i do not remember and i am not bothered. :

sound : harriet the spy 'unfuckwithable' cd

*he* has dreams (09.10).

"...i had a strange dream. you were living in norwich but for some reason i was never able to meet up with you because you were always busy or just didn't want to, then eventually you agreed to let me come and visit some time. when i got to where you lived (i think it was like a single floor or single room in a flat or something) there were other people there that you were talking to and i was just hanging around waiting and was feeling miserable and eventually after a couple of hours i was gonna leave but then all the other people went. so we went for a walk around norwich in the dusk to talk, going arm in arm. you were taller for some reason! it was odd. you were wearing this long overcoat and seemed really weary and worn down with all those people who came round the house relying on you for things. strange dream..."

telepathy at its finest.
mix tape - literary action at its peak.

sound:
christie front drive - 'stereo' cd + split 10" with boy's life + 'bag' (no idea 2xlp comp.)

"...and i will never forget..."

: of old school sailors and faraway distant lands and journeys. :
*it has a meaning.

:: in search of some class in a dimly lit mall. and the only ones available were computer accounting, languages, mythology, astrology and how to judge your diamonds. lots of wonderful cafes on the ground floor and i was more than overwhelmed. met a south african kid i used to know from a year ago in the grocery store and he was checking out baked beans. ::
* i strongly believe this has no meaning.

***

the funeral this morning was a beautiful one.
i hope you are resting well, grandmother dearest.
"...from YOU i come, to YOU i return..."

***

sound : arroyo secco 'last'

: postcard rock action. and funeral parties. and an uncle went to germany and produced monochrome photographs. :

death is just around the corner.
any time now. any time.

sound : the one am radio - 'the hum of the electric air!' cd

: something about being in the library with spooky people. and my cat changing her name to something weird. and my car plate to XNADIAX. and oh gosh...i don't know. the rest seemed to vanish at 4am...while i was struggling to wrestle with the clock. tick tock! :

sound: party of athletic dead corpses mp3s

: there was a party somewhere. and luke wilson was there. and then he sort of morphed into devil boy. and me and him and another kid went to hang out on the roof talking about nothing at all. just staring at the alley below us. then birthday boy showed up. and he thought we were smoking joints but we weren't really. went to play netball and went to see some christmas carolling and the chapel transferred into a cricket ground. so we left. back to the party and devil boy was about to kill himself. but somehow, someone else managed to convince him not to do it. :

sound : pinback, mary timony, city of caterpillar

: this kid wants to do the same project as me. go the fuck away you big fat fuckin gnome. and some other kid went on mirc just to bug the hell out of me. but there was this cool channel called #clikatat that had lots of weirdos on it. :

man, people suck.

so many mixtapes. not sure which one to choose.
ok. you with arroyo seco. get in line!

xox

: tour of the futuristic city. breaking in before working hours. distributing crack and waiting for the alarm to go off. talking to a painter from new york and urging him to display his work in tokyo. :

sound: city of caterpillar lp. (damn yeah.)

: helped someone to cross the road. she had a wooden leg and had to use a walking stick. went to missing link only to see that it was a hairdressing salon (not a record store) and a real flashy one too. white, grey and silver. and there was a concert hall at the back. and some "famous" "alternative" band (ala matchbox 20) was playing that day. but i was non too bothered and went away. and just before i left, a huge guy asked one the staff what was the best autumn cartoon. i thought to myself, possibly the aristocats. but no, it was 'michael jackson-bruce cream'. then i was in a college/hospital obtaining notes from the locker. and when i went upstairs to discuss next year's subjects (which were egypt studies, the cave, the rock.), i was told to go for psychiatric help. the room was a messy one. and all the doctors inside were smoking. i went in. they measured my height and injected my left arm by pinching my skin several times. they said i was free to do anything. and i spoke to an owl and a few action figures. as i was about to leave, a girl grabbed me and sort of crucified me (but there was no wood). she stapled in nails on my foot, hands and on my belly. then we exchanged email addresses. :

sound : dressy bessy.

: we walked along the streets looking for coffee but none of those cafes looked appealing. we walked and walked like how we used to. talking about nothing at all. you took a polaroid photo of me while i was shopping for clothes. and then it rained. well, a slight drizzle really. and you suggested a movie. a thai one. called material hirl. (it could be material girl but the poster was so clear.) and joan chen was in it. so we walked to the theater and an old lady overheard our conversation and said she saw the movie. and that it was hilarious. awesome. :

past dreams have been about mental experiments and such.
nothing you would like to know about.

sounds these days:
dressy bessy, mary timony, the shins, damn dirty apes.

: never had vertigo but over here i did. for the first time when i entered that steely walled glass elevator. from floor 7 to 20 and back to 7 again. i was meant to teach a bunch of high school students. but they weren't there and i was relieved. and i had that elevator phobia like the girl in 'dance dance dance' by murakami. before or after, i met some kids who i had known before and we were meant to go record shopping but things kept coming in between. dingy chinese coffeeshops, strange indonesian teenagers, rain and blood on the pavement. we never got to the place intended. :

strange bitter aftertaste on this tongue.
too much medication says the literate labrat.

sound : love like electrocution mp3

: (went to sleep at 10pm) instantly it was dark. and i was at home. waiting for the car. dad arrived. but not just yet. lulu the cat was outside. which is strange. cos she never goes outside. another tulip had bloomed. once everything was in place, i began my journey. a constant series of mind fuckery. at the hospital. by the balcony. in college. we were then connected by the house. the code word was 'college one-oh-one'. we were served boiled spinach. i was asked if i wanted a beer but i said no. it was a human size game of risk and monopoly but nobody was playing us. we were the players. i then discovered we were part of an experiment by french/german sociologists. i was given a choice. to stop or carry on. i chose to stop. :

i woke up.

: 1. a phonecall from mr jason slack and i went to hang out with him at the railway tracks. back to the institution's study area and i was stuck with kids from the math and engineering faculty. 2. found myself in a japanese supermarket with father. everyone looked zombi-esque and they couldn't accept credit cards due to some technological failure but at least i got my beverages. :

media text and audiences is a bullshit subject.
what on earth am i slaving for?

sound : the hives 'veni vidi vicious' cd

: of monochrome trains and a baby boy that in some ways resembled myself. physically. day one delivered, day two talked and rolled, day three he could stand up and make tea. scary. sent my grandmother off to a concert and she went via a super old school mercedes benz that looked liked a new york cabby. and while she was still on the street, i saw three of the aussie kids from class contemplating over trainers. scene shifts back to my room and a girl was showing off her 'chap-teh' skills. then i coerced some kid to listen to ethel meserve. :

p.s. chap-teh is an old school game played by asian kids.

sound : 'sweden rocks' comp cd-r courtesy of david ranman

: riding in a hot air balloon with a blonde rocky/sly stallone-esque type. suddenly he decided to bungee jump in the middle of nowhere and that wasn't very cool at all. studied some cult from an asylum and watched them perform rituals in the ocean. :

sound : sonic youth 'washing machine' cd

: recurring moments of black buildings and running around in circles and people from the institution. same faces same dialogues. too much paranoia. (dream master, i demand you give them back to me!!!) at some point, i was asking someone to make the distinction between nick cave and nick drake. and i still don't get it besides the kylie minogue reference. oh well. also, i was searching for hitchcok films but like in our so called reality, they weren't/aren't there when you need them. :

sound : wondering how nick drake sounds like

: went to the raddest comic shop on earth. and the boss (who is a young lady, mind you. not some fat whacked middle aged bozo with a ponytail and bad stubble.) reserved me a supercool spiderman book. was tempted to buy the itchy&scratchy clock and sme futurist comics. a girl i hate from school was working there as well so i had to be nice to her. argh. then i went to scavenge for food. and sat on a bench. and there was this vending like machine that if you risked your life, you could win 1000$. this is how it worked: you place a dollar in the slot and go into the machine. first you'll be drowned with water. then dried up with some gas. and finally punched and kicked for about half an hour or so. the last person i saw in the machine was a man in a business suit and he had a hole in his forehead. more dreams came after or before...one was about some kid with fake teeth. :

sound : i,robot...i,robot...i,robot...

: armageddon again. being chased by waters. and for one i had to sell watches in a modern-traditional chinese temple and someone wanted me to marry him but i managed to break free and only him was dangling by the helicopter. (how james bond-esque. sheesh.) then i was in argentina, or somewhere exotic like that. and once again it was about being swallowed up by the waters but nobody else was bothered about it but myself. america was in an anarchist state. and the trains were about to fall off the rails any moment. the food was disgusting. and finally i was sent to brisbane to check out tv / popular culture programs in their universities. :

sound : some form of suffering

: we had to run away from someone. i do not know who. but there was this man in black person wherever we went. (not the will smith one, the old school m.i.b.) and so from one alley to another dodging him. i passed an asylum that was in disguise of a motel. the lady beckoned me to come in. they were giving a free screening on pathological liars but i declined. she looked weird. and so was her nurse outfit. supposed to meet older sister at the reading room at 10am. i was punctual but the reading room was shut so i had to go into the adjacent shop which sold 1000$ satin pyjamas. and finally sister arrived at half ten, and we went back to her apartment. it was empty. nothing but concrete flooring. people kept buzzing the bell and they were all false alarms. when we thought everything was alright, the blonde lady made her presence and she floated through the door. and there was a baby with her. and she recited theories on post structuralism and the future generation of the world and while she was doing so, a horde of flames came towards the baby...and her..... :

and the alarm clock rang at its loudest.

: did not want to be associated with the crowd. we were atop the mountain. and i managed to get into the bus without them. and into the train. and when i reached the destination, it was back to square one. :

i don't wanna go to school tomorrow.
i hate people.

sound : tristeza 'spine and sensory' cd

: walked into tower records and they were selling takeshi kitano films for cheap. walked out of tower records and the news is takeshi had passed away and suddenly, prices of his films jacked up. as well as for haruki murakami books. :

*sore.throat.*

: shifting drastically between hospitals and that room in melbourne. he corcerced me into partaking sexual activities with him. i tried but it didn't work out. i said my flight was in the morning but it really was in the arvo and i had to hide my tickets. midgets with syringes running in the carpark. wandering around toystores and purchased alice in wonderland by lewis carroll on classic old school hardcover. colour : maroon. and the cat refused to speak.

sound : antartica '81:03' 2xcd

: : to a dingy hotel. supposedly 5 mins away from home. went to the video store in search of 'fight club' dvd. they only had multiple copies of van damme films. went downstairs. strange eerie looking turkish family. a pair of middle aged twins who were fathers and had curly blonde hair and wearing black eyeliner. both were carrying little girls similar to them and i took one of them into my arms and waited in the carpark. restaurant scene. waitress kept messing up the orders. i opted for maggot the faggot or faggot the maggot with cheese pizza. and an australian girl for the 'atrium' pizza. hers had bacon mine vegetarian. when the pizza finally came, it looked like japanese spaghetti. dolls dolls and more dolls. : :

the sleeping pill party will commence soon.
in order to join, please state your name, age,
type of medication and dosage.

sound : antarctica '23:03' cdep

: of christian fundamentalists.
and the most amazing french fries/chips ever. :

* so in order to obtain free movie tickets you have to partake in the christian fellowship? that's a bit lame, yo. *

sound : jettie/postman 7"

: japanese restaurants. trying to avoid politics class. followed little sister to go skating. the venue was infested with people playing a strange version of ping pong. the balls were red and you had to flip it from your egg tray to the opponent's egg tray. i think it was a tournament. run to the back of the room where the restrooms were super posh and fancy and had black walls with old school hollywood film posters. past the restroooms and to a little record store. where the staff were goths and they only had madonna vinyl and there were more envelopes on sale than records. deja vu. avoid politics class. went to a chinese lady's house where she had all sorts of pets. fish, cats, birds, dogs...like a freakin' zoo and back to the japanese scene. a banner they held - "strawberry picking for 3.99$". avoid the doctors. avoid the treatement. avoid avoid. :

you do not know how much i hate hospitals.
you do not know how much this existence is worth.

sound : land of the loops.
oops song has finished. time for black cat #13.

: was supposed to find a tailor. the taxi dropped us off at this weird ungerground markets. they were selling caged cats. and they look pretty depressed. white cats fully dressed as pets. scary. ended up buying chocolate eggs for my six sparrows. (no i do not own any sparrows. dead or alive.) visited a penpal who was living in australia. i think it was in darwin. and we had to cross the ocean and there were these villages under the bridge. i don't know...it was all very screwed up. then i met another kid somewhere and we were gonna hang out but it didn't happen. :


sound : weezer -'keep fishin' (i think it sounds very much like greenday)

: met her just as i was about to leave and she told me to wait. then brought me up to this lighthouse. and we went up the neverending spiral staircase. and the view of the city from up above was totally amazing. she's moving in with her boyfriend to greenfields. gosh knows if greenfields ever exist. a metaphor? maybe. hanging out with mother's mother was also cool. :

sound: abjure

: carnival. belgian holidays. drunk kids. swinging back and forth. yeah....something like that. :

i have a japanese flag.
all girls do.

sound: mixtape i made for jim.
(man alive i so don't wanna part with it.)

i believe someone was strangled in the bathroom. in room 210's bathroom. awoken every couple of hours due to the "screaming" and the lady kept on staring. staring staring through the curtains at the traffic. non stop traffic. even 2am. even 4am.

so the dreams were short and abrupt and they faded into the walls that heard everything.

sound : alex hannan's mixtape

damansara specialist hospital room 210.
-there was a lady sitting on of the chairs looking out of the window. i can't figure out if she has long hair or not, but she was checking out the traffic and i didn't mean to move her position, but i needed the space to do something. and it was easier for nurses to come in and change the drips and whatnots.

: old school movie theatres with thought provoking futurisitc concepts. different seats were for different films. like if you sat in the one labelled 'E.T.' then the screen would be showing some beady-eyed brown alien pointing to the sky. pretty neat i thought. i had to choose a chinese film from the 1930s which was quite depressing. then i had to go through a forest filled with fairy tale/cartoon characters and maybe it was strawberry shortcake who insisted i purchase the hello kitty refrigerator. and while i was rearranging my cds, i was awoken by some loud beep on the monitor. grrr! :

oh and somebody died at 830am.

sound : my left brain screaming against the right

: some kid from the fraccy forum came over to malaysia and sent me a text message in malay saying he bought nine baby crocodiles for 7$. (i swear this has got to do with charlie sammut calling me a crocodile earlier. *shakes fist* grrrr.) next, i was in a rush to go to uni. but was somehow stuck at the hospital and ended up hanging out at the cafeteria and eating sandwiches with staples in it. the cable tv there was odd and a blind man almost insisted i purchase the newspapers with headlines of the lady lady di's death. once i got to the institution, a lecturer said i should join some contest called "the khayembii communique awards." urgh. :

back to bed but it is not possible.

sound: the air conditioner whirring away and thus giving me the sniffles

: i remember a bunch of kindergarten kids balancing on rooftops and swinging on the windows. i stood on a bridge and talked to a midget. i remember holding 4 white kittens with black beady eyes like i was holding a bouquet of flowers and giving them a wash. i remember washing a dog too. i remember attending a weird school. i remember moving out and into a nice apartment with pink carpets. (tho' in reality i would never wanna have pink carpets!) i remember going to a show and 4 bands played. but i can't remember their names. :

*yesterday evening we went to the prime minister's house.
it was like darth vader meets emerald city. spooky spooky weird shit.
*then we went to a crazy mall that had too many shops with funky things. and with a river in the middle of it. but it was too late to check out the water taxis. dinner at johnny's restaurant was so ra ra ra ra rad!

sound: the last forty seconds/sundowner 7"

: witnessed the process of chaining half a dozen reindeers to a carriage. rather occult-ish. and the people involved looked like members of the kkk. helped a kid to solve an obscure mathematic equation. something about using the proving theory but she said it could be done in just 2 steps and i sulked and walked away. elvis impersonator wore my favourite flannel shirt and went clubbing and i was none too excited. and all this happened while i lived in a hut up a hill during winter. :

purchase of the day: spiderman head watch with adjustable strap. raaar.

sound: staccato reads 7"...chick chicky boom(x3)...

: 1.stuck with three mental patients who sat in a circle and had tubes linked to each other and they shared the same oxygen tank. they were one adolescent, an old man, old lady. the teenage kid was c-hamilton and his brother was d-hamilton. and d-hamilton said that c-hamilton had a thing for raw onion strips and if he didn't have them he would die.

2.underwater concert. and as some tarzan impostor swung from one end of the damp to the other, i had to make sure the cats were alright. the cats were alive, yes. and they were sleeping in a straw basket on top of one another.

3. running away, box of chocolates in hand. :

modern acupuncture rules.

sound: ninetynine and dressy bessy

: monochrome chaos and anger and frustration. :
---
: their stuffed toys were a lame representation of their roots and intentions. :

the national art gallery was fun.
yesterday's records were returned due to them being terribly warped and useless.
happy birthday lulu!!!

sound: jazz madness courtesy of rik peeters

: aliens. supermarket bizarre-ness. taxi ride. crossing causeways. nice people at the bank. weird people at the wedding. 20$ vouchers. screaming my head off and waking up and looking at the clock and it was 315am. blah. :

too many books to read.
contemporary fiction class might just drive me to suicide.

sound : contemplating between the bright calm blue lp
and the khayembii communique/the vida blue 10".

: disneyland. bad rides. mafia kids. knives. singing babies. hair salons. 21.90$ hairbands. black and white photography. slippery pavements. and many many more. :

sound : sodastream 'hill for the company' cd

: involved in an underground car park police car chase video. we were chasing not being chased at. and met up with delifrance affiliated people. (must be to do with the kid's talk of croissants and ice cream...) :

he had dreams :
: i briefly kissed some girl who wasn't you (just a peck on the cheek) and i felt really guilty in my dream and then i woke up! weird. also i was a stand up comedian at the beach for about 30 minutes and everyone thought i was great. : heh heh.

* people in general suck.
cats rule. *

sound : i hate myself 12" ep

: academic paranoia. and all the lights were flickering. and everything was gloomy. and maths lab was the weirdest. monkey boy had a haircut and record dreams took over. less superhero figurines on the shelves and only big hair rock band cassette tapes were on sale. :

: fire fire fire. :

back to classes tomorrow.
am i so looking forward to it.

sound : september 10" (tree records)

: nighttime bus rides. dropping off at the australian women's centre in victoria. getting lost in a dead mall. encounter with the aborigines. moved in with mother's mother. kids from college. korean karaoke. some weird boy who showed me an interior decor magazine called "geNDers". and bought cheese for mother. :

this afternoon:
: i bought 2 packets of pasta and grey ribbons from robinson's (in singapore) and a grey powerpuff girls' wallet. and saw a documentary of nba players doing exercises with their basketballs. gosh. :

today = mix tape action. raaar.

sound : dressy bessy over and over and over again

: something about institutions. mental institutions. (i guess this is the effect of moody's 'garden state' and jack nicholson's 'one flew over the cuckoo's nest'.) had to write an essay on why i was patient there and my relationships with the other patients and the staff.:

and on the previous night:
: i stole a car and drove around, killing whoever was in the way. then waited for winterbrief to turn up amnd they played in a small hut in the middle of a highway in the middle of nowhere. smoked my very first joint and i could feel every rythm and drumbeat and it was so amazing. but the pot was wrapped in snow peas. likesay what what? :

arrived home last night at 22:30hrs. so very exhausted. overall the trip was alright. singapore was not as crowded as last time. people didn't look so strange. and also i was distracted by some other things. so that was good good.

and for dearest erika, my new shoelaces are black with white stars all over.*grins* and they go on my lo black allstars. i sent postcards to andrew malcolm, martin robinson and gareth rees. sorry to the rest but if you want one, let me know and i'll do so right away.

playlist for the trip home in chronological order.
tape 1: femme fatale lp, computer cougar lp, the party of helicopters ep
tape 2: mates of state 'our constant concern lp', 2 songs by american analog set, 2 songs by sodastream
tape 3: plunger lp and various screamo bands
tape 4: dressy bessy lp

today i might just purchase another book. gosh am i excited. see ya!

on the night of the fourteenth:
: befriended a girl at orange julius and after much persuasion, she finally gave her name. "demon". mother suddenly came to save the day and i wandered aimlessly in a school that had a mall that had multi-purpose restaurants."

on the night of the fifteenth:
: dad was wearing weird reading glasses. one lens was normal, the other of very fine jade. encounter with a cousin and i japed around with her car keys. also, a bunch of cats were running around and i played with a water hose and sabotaged someone. i don't know who. :

best purchase of yesterday : emo shoe laces

i have been listening to i,robot constantly. what about you?

: was stuck in a meeting with adolescents arguing about various anti-depressants. none too amusing really. :

so here i am in singapore. arrived at about 1400hrs and mode of transportation was via train and i listened to i, robot, indian summer, femme fatale, computer cougar, the party of helicopters, bats and mice and million dead in chronological order. went to a bazaar at clarke quay and was somehow coerced into purchasing a jack skellington toy bank. *rubs hands in glee.* now i am at some boring c.c. infested with counter strike nincompoops.

a film tonight? perhaps.

xox

: kept running around in circles and not achieving anything. finally, the supermarket phase has worn off and i hope it stays that way. went shopping with the smashing pumpkins. james iha and darcy were both sporting the afro do ala at the drive in. and they weren't very pretty at all but anyway. then i went to see silverchair in concert. and went to work in an advertising company. :

yeah yeah going to singapore tomorrow.
back on windsday.

sound : the calculators cd

: something about driving. something about being offered a new sim card for my mobile phone. something about oranges. about looking at sinead o' connor from afar, riding her bicycle on a highway and seeing her crash and tumble down a hill and die. something about nothing. really. :

sound: compilation cd courtesy of the wire magazine courtesy of yin.

:experiencing lawn tennis tournaments. if the players were not able to smash forward with their rackets, they could use their hands. and the balls were rather much like ping pong balls. the finals got to be a bit tense but in the end it was alright. i then went grocery shopping in a japanese supermarket after hours. (now what is this new flavour? first elevators, now supermarkets.) they ran out of chewy candy and i was not in the mood for seaweed. something about a murder but that one's rather sketchy so i'll leave that out. got a postcard from luke yablonsky. which had a really cool abstract picture. contemplated on erasing his message and writing a new one and returning the postcard to him but decided not to. finally i undid a knot. and then i woke up.:

i need a break. maybe i'll go to singapore.

are there any singaporean kids reading this?
you need to inform me of places where they sell pirated lomo cameras.
and camping supplies.

sound: lulu biting a lizard

: hung out with amputees and royalties. people who had ugly cats and such. not very nice at all. :

sound : sleater-kinney 'the hot rock' 12"

: it was so cold. me and mother checked in a hotel. and everytime we went out i asked the kid at the front desk for a tiny spoon. a friend from uni was on her way to singapore and it was new year's eve. and it was raining super heavily. downtown. underground. supermarket. where i spoke to the ladies at the security booth and convinced them to let me in to do my grocery shopping. finally, an experience with some mad scientists. and i traded a new throat for someone's head. :

a trip to the zoo would be good.
but not at this end of the world.

xox

: had to go to an alldayer in a fruit and veggie farm in the middle of the city. kinda like the one in perth. i am unfamiliar with all of the bands. and later, i was meant to pass a casette tape of japanese pop to a high school friend. i called her asking for directions and i ran out of coins and someone gave me elastic bands instead. and somehow it worked. while on the phone, a girl came in and gave me some change and said it was the balance for my library fine which was 36$. walked along and lost my way. ended up in a labyrinth of a mall and finally a lady told me to take a taxi. from upstairs the cab was blue but when i got down, it turned into white and the driver was a drunkard and the co-pilot was a madman. shift. makeoutmedia had a new flashy layout with bumblebees and i made up food again. something to do with chocolates. no, no. not chocolate shoes but similar. oh well. :

sound: no wave madness

: some fourth of july thing. it was based in australia. invited to a party somewhere. in a town hall perhaps. and couples were seated everywhere. waiting for something on tv. i finally found an empty sofa. i think i was with older sister. i can't remember. but anyway, just adjacent to us was oliver kahn with his girlfriend. snapshots of people dancing and making out. later these shots were published in a magazine and made into a short film. grandad gave me a bicycle with no breaks. rode to a mechanic who gave me shit about riding with no helmet on and said the jpj would come after if i didn't get off quick. (holy guacamole. i am paranoid of bikes!) some other spooky stuff. but the mind is cloud.dead. :

independent german films rule me.

sound: acabah rot from the tidal/acabah rot split 12"

: the cracking of a neck and websites causing me paranoia. being part of a strange education system and being around people i do not quite fancy and all the trees were dead and gone. :

insomnia does not rule when you least benefit from it.
i have a nasty cough. help.

also, the kind people at deleted art sent me a couple of records yesterday. and those have been rocking like no other.

dadadadadadaforever.

xox

: playing hockey. one against one. and everytime you wanted to start a game, you crack an egg and a duck will form from the yolk and you had to guide it to the net in order to score. freakin' weird. also of strange architecture and cats and of clothes made from gloves. :

bastard of a lomo camera broke last nite.
*shakes fist at the sky*

sound: gogogoairheart 'the things we need' cd

: signed up for army camp. the only friend i had was a one eyed black and white male cat. as loyal as man's so called best friend and it watched me from afar as i went to my confined room. 8pm and it was pitch black. climb up the wooden steps. climb up they say. land-wines and barbedwires and it was thundering people. imagine : people falling from the sky with yellow helmets dead on the ground with their eyes bloodshot red staring up at you. imagine : the rays of sunshine bending in crooked jags. the scene snaps. father appeared on the screen of my mobile phone. and i run around looking for postcards. but all they ever sold were blue wedding cards. :

sound : the raging rain against my window pane. pain.

: we went swimming in the clementi public pools. entrance was free and we chose the second pool. there was a murakami road sign by the edge of the pool and suddenly the the place became an outdoor place and i chose a spot under a big old oak tree. constant deja vu occurances and suddenly being in a second hand art bookstore. wanted to buy a velvet sling bag but it was far too pricy. 94$ i think it was. yeah. :

: previously, i was swarmed by hundreds of species of birds. oh how very hitchcock-esque. :

book of the month = the story of how nadia became a cat (a true story).

sound : yeah yeah yeahs 12" on tape.

: disturbances are a-plenty. interviewing cops and running away from them at the same time. bullet train glass elevators. a dispensary within an art school and having to drink water from a syringe. receiving a package of two months worth newspaper recipes.who the fuck is andy watson?! black and white reels of eighteenth century children. a goat eating rabbit. and oh so many more that now i don't feel like talking about. :

sound : i am looking at martin robinson's mix tape.
yes i have to give it a go.

: of her. of exorcism. of the ever changing photos in the frames. of highly energized cats and letters. of dj shadow sounding like the supremes. :

sound : morser / the swarm 7"

: children in white uniform as they stare at me blankly with their pale faces and transparent eyes and led me to drowning :

anti-darwinists of the world unite.

xox

: 4 australian kids. 2 boys 2 girls. 1 of them was joel andersen. (joel if you're reading this, i don't know what the hell you were doing in my dreams but it was nice of you to visit anyway.) so joel was at this distro and contemplating on getting records and i said get the honeywell lp but he decided on the grade lp on victory records. and for some reason, the cover of the honeywell lp looked like the cover of a seaweed lp. whatever.

spoke to one of the girls about birthdays. she too was a gemini. not that it was a big deal but she was excited.

then i walked into an aquarium and came back with some cast around my neck. and met two aunts who i have not seen in 17 years. another question as to what they were doing in my dreams but it was nice to see them again. :

this didn't happen last night by the way.
my weekend was depressing.

sound : the 1985 7"

: and the theme was 'carnivals'. in no chronological order,

me as a hairdresser. and perhaps the first client was whoopi goldberg. well it looked like her anyway. then it sort of drifted into a musical, and i was singing songs and dancing and then it shifted into me, mother and a family of four off to some theme park. but apparently they wouldn't let us in. and i had a chat with the security guard and then he said ok, if we were that enthusiastic to go fishing. me and dad looked at a jukebox, and it kept flashing the word 'dinosaur' across it. slipped in a dollar and i was supposed to guess what song it was. it was bjork. human behaviour. and i got it right. i opened the jukebox. and it was another dimension altogether.

what is it with me and elevators. i don't get it. i don't get it at all. :

holidays until july 22 and i intend to rot within the confines of my four walls.

sound: on the might of princes

: the telephone theorem. a black "traditional" dial phone with an idd screen hooked up with a blue covered A5 physics zine and once you dial up numbers, a certain theory will appear on the screen. how cool is that. it's way cool. after usage, it was packed in a cake box.

elevator comparisons. up and down and stagnant all over. :

tomorrow i have an exam at half one in the afternoon.
wish me luck.i need it super lots.

sound: the blood brothers

: a hollywood director (who i do not know nor recognize) was debating against the hollywood discourse of actors speaking ill of directors. and he went on and on about sharon stone and a ten year old boy moved forward to the cigarette box to read a letter and claim ten dollars. (what? what?)

shopping with andrew malcolm. bought a black mug with printed cats around it and some bronze frames. there were black and white photos of him from his adolescence in the frame shop. but he denied them. ha ha.

being part of a science experiment. having adopted siblings. working in a newspaper company. except that i was transformed into a spanish boy. i think the company is called the sun. or the star. or something. and helping to carry a tray of bananas in some school that were busy doing art and studying the proppian analysis. (what? what?)

something about a renovation of the bathroom. but i am not bothered to go into detail. :

sound : i am tempted to listen to neil perry but there are other people in the house and they will be none too happy. have you seen my headphones? where are my headphones?

: dreams within dreams. of strange women in white. of telephones. of football. (soccer. i guess it must be due to the constant followup of the world cup.) of martin robinson taking japanese lessons. of strange houses. of record stores. of et cetera et cetera. :

sound : a mixtape i am in the midst of making...

: i was in a casino and a girl with a whip told me about a boy who was into bondage and masochism. she seemed worried. but then again, she was the one with the whip.

then, there was an accident. and i was sent to the hospital. and when i woke up, i realized they had cut off my legs. and replaced it with wooden ones. (reference: the film 'kandahar')

classroom scene : phone conversation with a classmate from high school.

went out of class, and into a glass elevator with some other unknown kids. and we went down down underground, underwater and i had to hold my breathe and when we reached our destination, we were in another world. a world of comic book characters. batman was on the other side of the road but a taxi driver was waiting for us instead. and it was a bloody weird taxi.i can't describe it. :

a huge thank you to : mr andrew malcolm, mr martin robinson, mr alexander deller, mr andy maddox and mr gareth rees for being there.

xox

: trains trains trains. everywhere. the ticket from rome to melbourne was cheaper than from sydney to melbourne. tram ticket has gone from paper to metallic. patiently waiting for the person to convert 50 singapore dollars to malaysian currency. father constantly repeating that i should give my cat a shower. more trains. more trains. strange people. weird road signs. :

and for a moment, i felt my soul being pulled out.

i have an exam tomorrow morning. at half eight.
send me your good luck charms.
i could do with some. thank you. xox.

: eating ice cream on a space ship and looking for people to be part of a pagan ritual. :

sound: ethel meserve discography cd

: and our new house was super huge and white and clean and i had the weirdest room of all. but there were tiny holes in the ceiling and mother said they were good for playing darts and throwing paper airplanes at. there was also an elevator in the house.

and we were on holiday again. and we took the train from thailand to malaysia but ended up back in australia. and we looked at second hand records and i bought a zine. and the salesman placed a parker pen next to it but i was quick to notice and told the cashier i didn't want it.

and in my bag, my mobile phone was vibrating. and there were 2 text messages. and as i was about to read them, parents woke me up. :

blah. not very interesting, i know.

sound: ost 'psycho' (in my head).

: watched a girl being sacrificed...fully clothed...alive...as she was being tied up next to some skeletons...in a huge oven. she was gonna be grilled. slowly, they made markings on her hands and skinned her and drained her blood from her tongue. and to gain their attention, she kept singing some hyms but to no avail. she didn't die in the end. it was just a joke.

he said he's interested in a girl who is interested in photography.
uhm. ok. :

sound: friction double cd isn't too bad, really.

happy 3rd birthday greysweater.

my new toy.

: the series for beverly hills 90210 just ended and changed its name to 'raleigh'. online conversations and getting a good grade on an assignment. : all related to paranoia sans the former.

a present for all of you soon soon soon.

sound : ost 'trainspotting'

: so we were on the way to somewhere...and decided to stop at some mall to find psycho by alfred hitchcock. i found the shop that specialised in horror and finally got the version i was looking for. on dvd. and the people working there looked really strange and were just clones of each other. :

listened to the 'we close our eyes' demo cd before eye shut.
and damn, femme fatale is yummy.

: kentos became a surgeon and i was looking at him perform some weird operation on this old chinese man. the man suddenly woke up mid way and demanded for another surgeon and kentos just gave him a cheesy kinda smile. (huh?) then i had to give my rats a shower. :

no, i do not have rats for pets.

sound: femme fatale 'as you sow you shall reap' 12"

the dreams have been short. abrupt. and sporadic.

: collecting huge parcels and letters and birthday cards from suzanna's house. and somehow being associated with daisy chainsaw. :

yesterday = attack of the clones (gold class)

little sister bought me this and i-zone film. she knows how to rule.

sound : maybe one day i can be fixed.

a tip for visitors. (this is not a dream, you fools.)

when visiting someone at the hospital, ALWAYS bring something. anything. a card, a flower, an apple, a jigsaw puzzle, a mix tape, a comic, a magazine, a biscuit, a stuffed animal, a sock, an ear plug, a paperclip, a colouring book, a magnetic star, fruit juice... it may save the patient's life. trust me.

DO NOT come empty handed and ask how's the weather or how the operation was. it does not only annoy the fuck out of the patient, it also annoys the walls and the furniture. i know this very well.

and that perverted bastard once said:

"imagination is more important than knowledge."

heil heil.

: some unknown kid came over to my house to check out records. and we listened to a drive like jehu split 7" with jimmy eat world. the dlj tracks were amazing and i kept raving about how ace 'bullet train to vegas' is. oh yeah. then he said something about green day and then i told him that i wanted to get the depeche mode single with 'somebody' on it. mighty good conversation. :

level plane records have good stuff.
examples of good stuff:
i, robot discography cd, indian summer discography cd, knives and green water split 7", racebannon 7" and the walkmen 12". i've not heard of the walkmen but the band name is interesting. hahaha...some shallow-ness for you.gimme gimme gimme.

remember to attend my funeral this saturday.
attire is casual/smart. byob.

tonight i'm staying at the hospital.
send me text messages if you know my number.

xox

: book shopping with father. i think it was MPH. he was keen on getting me something that was on penguin so he went and i was left on my own and picked up 3 zines. they were maximum rock n roll types, punk propaganda and such. also on the shelves were really obscure pornography zines...really hard to describe...a bit graphic but at the same time....

anyways,

the next scene was a mix of home and school. and i was supposed to do a physics exam that involved theoretical car racing. (this is not making sense...i know) and then i received a letter. on the envelope it said 'belgian zine/newsletter' but it was a normal handwritten letter from some kid in singapore. and enclosed were photobooth photos of older sister in the forest with apes. :

tonight is another hospital scene...

sound : so what do you listen to before someone goes for a cancer operation, huh?

: it has been about sodastream, family matters and pregant women playing soccer. :

no medication for 3 days.
can you tell?

sound : arab strap 'elephant shoe' cd.

last night i took one tablet of imovane.
that knocked me out for 6 hours. woah.
no dreams no nothing.
it is almost scary.

sunday night:
: i am in singapore again. jurong east mrt station. me little sister and dad. waiting for my ex boyfriend. he came. and he's supposedly to be dad's tour guide. (wtf?!) halfway through the journey, ex boyfriend bailed out. dad furious. we are now in the forum shopping mall. but it is really dark and dingy...suddenly i am in the room with adm. and it was highly sexual and monochrome. :

received records in the mail this morning.
but i still feel the same.

treatment begins monday may 20 2002 4pm.

continued...

night two
: i am 13. i am constantly going on trips and excursions. keep on returning home. keep on packing my bag. keep running. and running. in a fast food outlet that had a menu similar to a&w's and the place was mostly patronised by male homosexual couples.

then suddenly i am facing my asthma doctor.
he gives me a huge packet of synflex.

scene suddenly changes. i dip my fingers in paint.
fingerpainting the trees. :

night three
*damn nurses kept coming in every hour. and that totally ruined it. different dream every time. and of course, i cannot remember all.*
* in no chronological order *

: more meetings with classmates from 2nd year of high school. they are somehow involved with the postcard trade club. and i was supposed to help mail out some of their letters. then i was brought to uni to where the frat kids hang out. and i commented on how awful their stereo was and that they should get a new one.

tom (from tom and jerry) is best friends with sylvester (from sylvester and tweety).

singapore. across far east plaza. but the royal holiday inn looks totally different. all white and squarish. i am at the taxi stand. a long mercedes limousine arrives. it is 1/2 pink, 1/2 silver and nicole kidman gets down with a blonde baby girl. she smiles at the waiting crowd, poses for the camera, then disappears into a fancy restaurant.

next. i am crawling into a gap in the rocks...by the sea. with tom cruise. we are now in a cave. he is frantically looking through old carboard boxes. searching for past issues of TIME magazines that contained pictures of kidman. :

no, i was not the patient.
yes, i did see many strange things.

back to life.

sound: -

7pm may 16th 2002 - 12pm may 19th 2002
damansara specialist centre
room : 265 - 266, bed 265

night one
: nominated best media studies award by shrek (not the real shrek. the you-know-who shrek). there were 3 shots of me doing the cheesy best student poses on some certificate-like paper. running around in that institution, i went to the highest level and it was all therapeutical. adolescent indian girls dressed in colourful saris were having their lessons conducted by these multi-level fountains. i roamed around aimlessly.

walked back to the exam hall which was located in some shophouse. took the wrong entrance. up a flight of stairs. and it was some punk-youth hostel. met a classmate from the 2nd year of high school. she removed her headgear upon seeing me and said she was married and showed me her toddler son (about 2 yrs old maybe) named eric. her husband was someone i do not know. she then excused herself to clean the music-lounge-pool-room and i was stuck with punk looking single mothers with babies and i went over to her desk and found a letter classmate she me. in that letter, she said that if i ever was feeling depressed, i should open up and be honest with her. i exit.

car park. van pulled over. david wanker at the wheel. i sat behind. was given a present wrapped in forever friends paper, from the juniors. they seemed excited.:

: armageddon. on a huge stage. with 5 other kids. in the middle of a vast field. and we dance to tricky. while huge balls of fire explode in the distance.

mackers sell chocolate donuts.

and i was given a baby boy. :

sound : sodastream

: had to go to a wedding that's in japan. i think it was osaka. but i am not too sure. after that i went to a chinese restaurant with older sister to eat sashimi and it was a total rip off. but the girl who served us was really nice. :

and that's about it.

sound : keyboard music

: 1.record shopping. again. (fuck. i honestly hate record shopping dreams.) this time it's a 7" galore where i picked up about 8 or 9 singles by arab strap and i,robot and some others. there were also #2 and #3 issues of heart attack but somehow i wasn't interested.

2.a walk to starbucks where they were promoting different flavours of hot chocolate. and i opted for pink passion.

3.camping in uni and i was forced to attend chemistry and maths classes.

then i stayed at the football coach's house and tried to sneak out but was caught. :

previous night:
: keep on running into technical classes and dead ends. also, a bald man was preaching the ideas of film making and a little boy then led me to watch gumby. but was actually mayor quimby and there were sepia shots of the simpsons.

then i walked into a bar that was playing destiny's child and a goth girl gave me a flyer for an indie gig that was gonna be in a church and that it'll start at 9am. i told her that i would love to go but the show was too early. :

sound : meanderthal's cover of they might be giant's "mammal"

: hanging out with a dude from makara. but claimed he's from another old-skool emo band called "benji". we're running away from some protest or demonstration in china. climbed up a barbed wire fence and managed to jump over. makara dude sprained his ankle and relied on me to get to the other side of the city. talked about the mix tape he made me. and i should check out this band called "legcross" or "legspots." hrm.

at the same time, i was involved in an art competition. and what we had to do was complete each other's drawings. mine was of faces and the paper i was given had an outline of the kl twin towers. and i was supposed to colour them in. so i used crayons and grey paint.

suddenly my fringe was short. :

lulu biting my hair as usual. and no, my fringe is not short.
a haircut trip tomorrow i hope.

sound : books lie "i felt like such a loser..." 7"

: * dammit...felt like i slept forever and that it was 8 but no. it wasn't even 1am. barely less than 4 hours of eye shut. and apparently i couldn't stop turning and mumbling. * 1. was debating with some kid (who was doing the homestay at my place) that nakargot by very secretary had the sound of leaves rustling in the background + some added effect. he then gave me a strange looking cake but i gave it back to him. (strangely i think he resembles one of the weird blonde haired kids i always see in the labs at uni.)

2. computer lab scene but it was almost like little sister's high school. too many people. overcrowded. strange logins and passwords. and pariah mothers with their babies clutching onto them. . .

3. pet shop. analyzing the behaviour of cats. ended up buying a snake. (and still trembling at the thought of it this minute.) like buying a plant, the snake was sort of standing still on a brown dish. i don't even know what type of snake it is. but it was greenish grey (or greyish green) with blue eyes. and suddenly i dropped the plate (and snake) and was having a sort of seizure. and my left arm was jerking and i was turning pale and the owner of the pet shop (or perhaps the vet) said that linux (snake) had bitten me and given me the case of "toe centipede". if i do not eat enough, the bite could also prove to be fatal. i nearly fainted. :

i woke up.

: black. white. brown. and traces of red all over. pornographic shower scenes. faces. faces. faces everywhere. cut to where i blindly accept a cigarette. and we're running away. and one of the kids was slowly transforming into a cop. run. run. run. you can run but you can never hide. constantly *their* voices "it's all about choice" zaps in and out. in and out. non stop. while i try not to drown. in that diamond sea. :

---
there might be something wrong with myself.
-->
disorder : rating
paranoid: very high
schizoid: very high
schizotypal: very high
antisocial: high
borderline: very high
histrionic: moderate
narcissistic: very high
avoidant: moderate
dependent: high
obsessive-compulsive: high
<--
url of the test: here
url for more info: here

thank you dewi.
---

sound : devotchka

long distance relationships + the one am radio = not good.

: whirlwind between injections and people from college annoying me thinking they can recognize songs by new order and sitting for exams and stuff. :

too early for sounds. but the one in my head is of tristeza.
and i might just slip the 10"...just about...now!

: was hanging out with a friend from perth; b.c. and he was strangely trying to escape from someone's apartment by climbing over the fence and i was looking out for him. and the house that we lived in (on the other side of the road) was in a weird flat-like building. and instead of door numbers, our address was determined by our bed numbers. kinda like in a hospital. kinda like in an asylum. next.

woodstock festival in korea and checking out their cigarettes. and i was supposed to see this goth band in some wooden hut but i wasn't bothered in waiting for them to show up. next.

missing link! (in melbourne, australia of course.) their capacity had somehow doubled or tripled. and they changed the entire layout. and had too many records. they also had all sorts of stationery but most importantly, record mailers which are definitely very handy. i can't remember what records i got. mostly under constellation, some cd samplers and a video of sodastream. and all the staff were singing "love is in the air." :

a couple of nights ago:
: i was strangled by the devil. :
woke up with an asthma attack. typical.

* between 1630-1800 hrs today,
: my mixtape club was made into a tv show. :
woke up shouting and lulu's paws in my hair.

sound : bright eyes / squadcar 96 7"

: lots of people wanting to invade my room. and my father sending me off to art school that was in a prison. :

i need new books. recommendations please.

this morning i listened to the song of zarathustra 10". it was wonderful.

* happy earth-birth-earth day dearest nadra. *

i wanna scoop out my eyeballs. especially the left one. it hurts really bad. and it is all due to "emotional unstability"*. is that* a valid phrase? you should know what i mean, anyway.

: (in no chronological order) analyzing 80's madonna videoclips. one of which was called heartbeat. and debating how unconventional she was because despite the pop art, she used royal pain fonts. taking group photos outside a war museum-library. drawings of mohawks on the walls. and there were statues of sid and nancy on the rooftops. free confectionery given out at uni. and i opted for the floppy disks that were blue with printed white stars. foodcourt scene: thai beef noodles and had a terrible time getting a drink. most of the drink stalls were closed and there was one that sold soya bean and marijuana. another one had soyabean and sprite and some weird orange drink. then the vendors were arguing that the price was 2.50$ and not 2.40$. yes, i was confused. more stuff but i can't remember. :

sounds today have been : the jam session , bright calm blue, hey mercedes and a mix tape featuring australian bands (of various genres).

: i bought the 'journal of journals' book for 14$. second hand, hard cover and it was about 1000 pages and i had to pay for it at the cafeteria. then i argued with the chef regarding how to cook pasta and then someone said my book was really worth it. and that at other shops it would have probaby been two hundred$ or so. whatever. :

and on the previous night,
: i was staying at an army barracks. and i was helping the soldiers to write suicide notes. on enlarged m&m packets. i also stole lots of envelopes from a nearby stationery shop. :

my stereo is back. and in wonderful condition.
back to mix tape making action.

sound : le shok 7"s

ML1-7-2 : you are a horrible computer. you make my screens flicker and disappear. you eat my emails. and your server is horribly slow.
i hate you. die die die die die die.

mixtape titled: 'bender bending rodriguez' has been rocking my socks.
impressive bands on said tape: vermont, million dead (who would believe it's ex-kneejerk!), amalgamation and acabah rot.
i love acabah rot. thank you, a.d.m. you rule like no other.

last friday i watched i am sam. good sountrack. ok story.
sean penn did a great job. and that's about it.
rating: 6/10

still reading fante. education priorities are getting in the way.

and the dreams have been about people that do strange things and going on holiday with *him* and all that jazz that don't really need much to be said.

too many records piled up at home.
oh, turntable, when will you grace the lovely floors of home...i miss you.

: an 'underground' gig held in an auditorium promoting d.i.y and anarchy and when i entered, the entrance fee was like 14$ and i was going "d.i.y up your bloody arse!!!" and landed in a terrible argument with the person selling the zines too and finally they let me in for 1/2 the price (or perhaps free, i can't remember.) and i sat on one of the benches. whilst waiting for the band to set up, i walked around the room and came across a shelf with 80s big hair/metal cassette tapes along with manga figurines. finally the band was set up and more people rushed in and then i was suddenly next to ed harris.

he drove me to france. it was extremely cold and very windy. he brought me to a cemetery which sort of looked like the stone henge and when we got there, there was a little party going on. the cemetery was divided into a few sections. like north side or east side and there were other fancy names as well. and there were these posh characters (like the ones in gosford park) sipping tea in the cafes and as we sat down, we were served by clowns. depressed clowns.:

tuesday night:
: i was trapped in a laboratory with a mad scientist who claimed he was an astronaut and he was concoting a drink that would allow us to travel in time. :

sound = the man i fell in love with lp

: [from saturday night] doing laundry for no reason at all. and i met the girls who collected pencil cases. they appear now and then. when i least expect it. they're kinda like the girls from nightmare on elm's street. the ones in white dresses and singing eerie-ly. maybe it's an omen. :

: [from last night] i slept on the tummy of a huge blue polar bear while normal bears rolled downhill. kinda like being in a disney film. then i was at a futuristic cinema and we could view certain scenes by touching the film posters. the posters were framed in glass cases and the scenes would suddenly appear. very back to the future II-esque. where the jaws shark suddenly emerged out of nowhere. :

realized the post made below was a bit harsh. i was tired. i was annoyed. my most humble apologies to any singaporeans who ever felt offended. you're not strange. you're just different. and of course places need not change. but i am not taking back those words on over population. no.

sound = mogwai '4 satin' cdep

*...why am i not a machine?...*

wouldn't that be great? or perhaps 1/2 great...so these soles wouldn't be so sore. and with all the thoughts running through my head walking from one end to another, i could just print it out instead of trying to recall by bashing myself against the wall. well, i could write it down but all i have to write on is a hello kitty notebook. that doesn't make me look cool. i am tired of waiting for some kid to appear with my records so i thought i might go somewhere to relax. i find an internet cafe. (aren't i pathetic.)

so anyway! i have been in singapore for about 6 hours and i wanna go home. yeah. the people here are strange. (i mean, not that people elsewhere are not strange but people in general are strange but...)it's just strange that i used to live here 10 years ago and just seeing the same shops in the same place urks me out. like, aren't places supposed to progress or something?! and have the population suddenly tripled overnight?i keep having to squeeze through and repeatedly mouth excuse me or sorry. it's not like i am a very big person or anything. back to the strange people...well they just are. apart from that, the city has many interesting shops and the weather is nice and grey which makes that a change. yay.

i return home tomorrow. kuala lumpur may not be paradise but at least i can breathe a little.

: i texted lina and she said she's at the usual coffeeshop and i go to meet her. just that the usual coffeeshop doesn't look usual. it's very flashy with blue lighting and yellow umbrella shades. i sit down turn around. and there's this alley where families are having their photos taken. and the thing is they pose with guns and after the photo is done, they shoot each other.i'm not sure if there was too much blood or anything.:

i have listened to mates of state, slint, the party of helicopters, the cache and the rondelles.

take care everyone. xxx.

: for 3 nights in a row, it's been about hospitals. i can't get into details. it is too weird and nothing beats the language of the dream world. :

this arvo:
: was offered a job at a 2nd hand bookstore. the owner was gonna sell the place but decided not to when i agreed. they had everything on rebel inc classic. there were also stacks of books by shel silverstein and some really old school poetry books that were going for 800$. mad. there were a couple of policemen who were lurking around that looked really suspicious. i got myself some heartshaped bookmarks and just as i was going to the counter, the owner (a big auburn haired lady) told me to follow her and we went downstairs to where it was a posh french restaurant. she was about to give me training on accounts but then she showed me the chef's recipe book and it was really interesting the way he wrote his recipes. there were separate columns for different ingredients. i was mostly looking at the pizza recipes. it was raining very heavily and big auburn haired lady was afraid of getting her hair wet as she had to take the tram. :

: other incidents but they don't make sense. :

gosford park is a bad movie.
love in the time of cholera is dreamy.
my holidays so far have been about:
sleep, mom and the party of helicopters.

xox

thunderstorms on a daily basis is almost cool. emphasis on *almost*.

: walked into a deserted mall. sometime at night. the foodcourt and to a japanese stall. where i had sticky rice with black sauce and raw salmon. went to the cashier and there was this english guy in front of me. we exchanged hellos and i sat far away from him. went to get myself a drink and when i returned, he sat next to me. engaged in a conversation about england. i asked if he knew jason slack from london. he didn't answer that but said that londoners were really snobby. not too long later, another girl joined us. i don't know who she is and after a while, we (me and guy) found her a tad annoying so somehow i told her to leave. but before that i got her email address or perhaps a phone number and promised to get in touch with her. suddenly me and guy are at my house, in my room and we're listening to records. he said he's the owner of mtv in 67 nations of the world. i wasn't impressed but i did ask him if he ever met craig david and he said yes. he picked out a honeywell lp and we were about to make out. so we were lying in bed and suddenly mother walked in. we denied everything of course and then he left and asked me to call him. he also left me 56$ for a pack of cigarettes i bought him. after his departure, i realized that he was actually the drummer of australian hardcore band 'identity theft'. he was bald but not as *huge* as the drummer. :

whatever.

there's a new guestbook. do sign it to let me know you're here.
i would be very grateful. thanks very much.

my stereo was sent for repairs yesterday.
fingers crossed all will be alright.
i'm so very nervous.
will have to depend on discman and walkman for now.

top 5 sounds of the week (in alphabetical order) :
death cab for cutie - i am a kaleidoscope
desaparecidos - what's new for all
karate - what is sleep
ida - arrowhead
the party of helicopters - slowdance

xox

: watching formula one at about midnight from my window. with some other unknown kids. but before the race, there were some "cheerleaders". ranging from ages 8-12 yrs. mix of boys and girls and they look more like zombies. one of the spectators was possessed and in order to get the devil out, i stepped on her left toe and she screamed and screamed and her eyes gradually faded from bloodshot red to super pure white to normal. :

yeah, that was a nightmare. i was supposed to wake up at 4. but decided not to. at 530, someone poked my back. i'm not sure who. maybe it was an angel. maybe not. i finally made the effort an hour later.

can't wait till the day is over and i'm gonna be on "...holl..lee..dayyyy...".
bring on the easter break!!!

sound = making a dub of the get up kids bootleg
(of the show i went to in melbourne - april 2000.)
*for the makeoutmedia kids.
surprisingly i can still mouth some of the lyrics! woo!

the highlight of last night :

: down syndrome kids. they keep appearing in every scene. somehow they would just appear and not go away. in one scene, it would be about obscure record stores with red sofas and blonde haired homosexuals and just at the corner, there'll be a d.s. kid staring right through me. or i'll be in psychology class and another d.s kid would be standing in front. just standing there. motionless. :

no, i don't think i have ds phobia at all.
it's just almost creepy why i'm dreaming about them.

: oh and there was this girl who appeared on mtv. and she was showing her teeth and for some reason, i held out the remote and pressed the repeat button so i could see that videoclip over and over and yes, she has d.s.... :

sound = desaparecidos 3 track cd sampler
(conor oberst = awesome)

*he* has dreams.

: i had a dream last night where we were hanging out again. and it was just like last time, really natural and sweet and hand holdy :) i am not sure where it was, it felt like england, but it was sunny, so maybe it wasn't :) i don't recall too much of it. i remember sitting at a table eating something with some other people (maybe some family members) and holding your hand. later you went a show but i chose not to go for some reason! you came back and said it was really good and you gave me a distro list and it had this split 7" with usurp synapse and some other band i can't remember and i was grr that i didn't go. :

: i was in this big field with that guy 'follow the bear' off the fracture forum, and there was some guy performing stunts in a strange balloon, he would dive down and nearly hit the ground and take off again. then he let this rope down and ftb jumped on it and got swirled all over the field. crazy. it went on for about 10 minutes then the balloon pilot stopped and i woke up. :

XXX

: tiny stuffed monkeys, alter egos, skiing trips and airports. :

so we watched 2 films yesterday.
1240hrs - milleur espoir feminin
1510hrs - kandahar

the time sessions should've been reversed or i wouldn't be so depressed.
kandahar is a slow, draggy and very disturbing.

sound = party of helicopters 'space...and how sweet it was' (2xcd)

i've been inventing food again.

: the other day, i stepped into my dream bookstore/library. and it had every single title i was after. instead, i was somehow directed to the book of chocolate shoes. when i took it, the shoes came to life. they were rather yummy as well. :

: last nite, i was on some art expedition and had apple biscuit ice cream.
they looked like super huge swirly lollipops. :

(i) later i am going to watch a movie.
it could be an iranian one or a cartoon.
what do you think? correct answer will win a prize.
(ii) assignments and presentations due next week.
and i don't know what the questions are. typical.
(iii) received a monstrous package from sncl distro 2 days ago.
all of you should join the mailing list and buy stuff.
the dude who runs it is king. hail hail.

songs of the week: fog by sodastream + what is sleep? by karate

: it's always the same these days. unknown faces, unknown buildings. strange occurences. it must be all due to the current state of mind. * :

* chaos confusion and nothingness

although once,
: the X watch was commercialized and i was none too happy. and i ran across the road to a girl in search of an 80's discotheque and met kids from high school. :

scribble.nu will be discontinuing it's services after may 1 2002.
so that means: reconstruction of grysweater, greyskll, greydays.
will probably shift it over to greysweater.envy.nu.
but. i will think of something else. i will.

currently, the greysweater book society has 3 members including myself. we sit around and drink tea and read random pages of catcher in the rye. membership is free and you need not necessarily consume tea. it could be hot cocoa too.

grand prix malaysia yesterday was better than last year's.
and i got sunburnt despite the abundance of sunblock.

sound = post rock mix tape from february 2000
(the aasee lake, 90 day men, paul newman, etc.)

: *you* just returned from alkaline trio with ian and simon. i couldn't see ian's face though. just his back and his hair. simon was really sweaty and his eyes were red and he wore a godspeed you black emperor tshirt (just like mine). we met up in a bookstore owned by an old chinese man. and simon passed him (the old chinese man) 2 mix tapes. they both had red covers with communist art. i sat on the red sofa with *you* while i flipped through simon's portfolio. it was just a huge book filled with his art and poetry when he was in year nine. i read everything in detail. *you* were tired. you wrapped your hands around my waist and leaned on me...and fell alseep. your hair is so soft. [just like how it is.just like how i like it.] :

: went to the airport in search of *your* friend from argentina. no description of how he looked like. just that he had long dreadlocked hair. and so i went. he supposedly was there. waiting to board the plane to nepal. so i spoke to him. and he had a weird name. and he did a funny (peculiar not haha) handshake. as he was about to depart, i asked which part of argentina he was from. he said "what? no, i'm from nepal." of course i was shocked. then i asked if he knew biju. (i used to know a kid of this name when i was studying in perth) and out of nowhere, his mother and sister were beside him carrying a baby boy wrapped in a royal blue blanket. and they said this was biju. i just smiled at the baby and behind me were the media people. and they were snapping photos of me and trying to interview me. i decided to avoid them. :

: running away, now in uni. on the seventh floor. with suzanna. we heard kenneth's voice. oh no. can't go through fifth floor. so we took the elevator. doors open, we are at the kuala lumpur city centre. brought her to the post office but instead it was a customs office. "but i swear it's here." yeah, whatever she said. :

last nite i was supposed to go to a play. it was cancelled last minute.
the city council decided not to give the permit.
may they rot and decay with the maggots and die in hell.

sound = the title lust

: scene one: the theme is country music. everywhere we went to, they were playing country music. cowboys, tight jeans and leather boots and a club called desperados. *perhaps this has to do with the new promise ring songs.* scene two: chaos again. running around in circles. and constantly trapped after every escape. :

last nite
: underwater village. well, not exactly underwater. but a village that is almost sinking. almost akin to the final scenes in a.i. and i am a trying to cross a wooden bridge with mother. we made it somehow. it was freaky. it was also kinda like the city of lost children. :

my throat hurts.

sound = 'jan pahechan ho' (1960's indian go go music. raaar.)

: in that building again. with lunatics again. all of them are coming after me. and there is no escape. and there is no way out. like a labyrinth. staircase twirls around in circles. running and pushing. and.... :

i scream.

sound = grifters 'just passing out'

: parents died in a car crash. me leaving the country. the background grey and white. i am yelling. i am going mad. i am going crazy. i am fucking insane : argh.

this room is so quiet

sound = peu etre x carther matha x rachael discography cd
(mmm...french goodness...)

: watching my cat being possessed by the devil. she (the cat) was talking on the phone and suddenly the entire house became topsy turvy. [shift] buying badges/pins/buttons of the locust. woo. they were really huge, camo background and had lots of japanese writing. [shift] living in a pre-war youth hostel. constantly moving from room to room. [shift] hanging out with nadra. she then sat at the tram stop while i ran across streets and down the pavements in the rain. :

sound = swing kids / crimson curse discography cds.

in no particular order.

: encounter with dennis rodman from the chicago bulls. i kept calling him scottie (pippen) though. he wasn't happy. he then asked me what his ambition was. i had no idea. he wanted to be RuPaul. :

: brought a screaming red haired lunatic back to her house. she was yelling and shrieking. so out of control. she said she had the pin number to my credit card. i said "no." i already changed it via phone banking. i ran back home. and dialled up the bank but of course, my phone *had* to be out of order. :

: desperately needing a drink. i am in melbourne, australia. on toorak road. we are at the junction and the nearest place was soda rock. it looked the same from outside but upon entrance, the entire place somehow turned into long john silver's. wanted to sit at the far end but was ushered to a room full of japanese and korean school girls. i had no choice but to eat salad instead of the apple cola soda i ordered. :

:concrete building. supposedly my house. i walk to the bathroom. and next to the bathroom is a diy hospital. for the loonies. :

awesome.

sound : thurston moore 'psychic hearts' cd

: it was all about anime. and i don't even read or watch or listen to anything related to anime. shrugs. a series of related occurences but nothing too deep in detail that i can remember or perhaps exciting enough to be stated here. what is definitely crystal clear: i walked with *you* one night and you held my hand and we went into a gift shop and you asked why i didn't buy the blue bag with printed white stars. i said i already had it. we looked at the price and it was $4.40. unsure of which currency it was. and i said i got mine for 7 bucks, apparently cheaper than that 4.40 one. then i ran away.... :

sound: mix tape with staircase, on the might of princes and the vida blue. (and some kid across the lab is listening to j-pop. mere coincidence, you reckon?)

:one] at their house again. playing nintendo. one of them was being spooky as usual. two] at another house. supposedly my birthday. too many six year olds dressed in pretty dresses giving me presents. they look like the girls in nightmare on elm street. three] hanging out with arab strap. *perhaps i should start listening to something else* four] kids in singapore wanted me to front their band. supposedly riot girl. trying my bestest to run away. five] 19th century europe. a field. woman and soldier running away. perhaps there was a fire. or even a war. their dog died. they skinned it and removed the head and decided to bring it back to life. :

sound: contemplating between sodastream and plunger.

lots of updates.

the original forum is down. due to several reasons.
you can read about it here.
for now, there is a new forum. and all is welcome.

kd mentioned about a "greysweater book club" in a recent email.
and i've been considering the idea.
not too sure on how to go about on it.
but anyway, i've posted my readings on greysweater.
if you have read any of the books, we could probably start a discussion.
or perhaps you have read something else similar.
and can recommend other titles/authors.

i start school (uni/college/tertiary education/etc...) tomorrow.
not looking forward to it.
but i'll let you know what happens. check gryskll sporadically.

greyskreen: due to envy.nu being down for a while, i didn't manage to update it.and also i have not been keeping a diary on the films i've seen. but i tried my best to recall.

musicwise...rather slow.
typically arab strap and bright eyes are in frequent rotation.

and that is about it. take care.

: going into a record store and the guy who owned/worked there had a reggae hairdo and was wearing a death metal tshirt. record he was spinning = janet jackson. it was supposedly a 10" single. shape was rectangular and the sleeve was a psychedelic blue. i browsed. and came across 3 records. one was "the constellation" lp that sounded like godspeed you black emperor, the other was arab strap's 'cast the diamond' 10" and i forgot the last one. (*of course, all these records do not exist. unless.) :

:going into a japanese bar and a gig was about to start. country/folk songs. most of them looked australian. :

more incidents but they decided to go through defenestration.

sound = i am spoonbender "where do all the words go"