meddle(rr)

and we are all guilty of using this tool to be a bigger tool.
to be a bigger fool.
for nobody but ourselves.



so this is for you lot.
who ever felt the slightest need
to fight me to challenge me
to spit in my face with your delusive sonnets
and false prophecies.

i bow and claim defeat.
step back. forfeit.
let you triumph, parade and jubilate in pure glory and victory.

hip, hip. hurray! applaud applaud applaud!!!

sincerely,
gryswtr - your biggest figment of imagination.

---

listen to harriet the spy and remember me. always.

: riots in front of the shop houses. a person from the admin department opened up a business in silkscreening tshirts. she had just done a job for a local skateboard company when she found out the price they charged per tshirt and was none too happy. before mailing out the orders, she managed to re-do the job and used different fabrics - made from carrots. the tshirt would melt and crumble if the person sweat profusely. - next - in a parking lot and witnessed a skateboard crew hold a meeting and they had recruited new members. new members had to stand in the centre and the rest raised their hands and pledged to treat them with respect and blah blah blah and vice versa. :

everything shoegaze and indierockpops!

bounce

some nights ago + last night  :

: (a) sat in a very nice bus with leather seats and clear glass windows and journeyed into the country. then came home to a red bicycle. (b) stepped into a glass elevator in a mall and elevator journeyed up and up and out of the mall and to a much taller building. (i suppose this is kinda like that dahl book. and also i remember having a similar dream way back when.) (c) watched a basketball game which looked like a volleyball game and there were two players on each side and the hoops were at the corners of the net. after several jumps and spikes could the players dunk the ball into the hoops by headbutting. (kinda ridix but so entertaining!)

aww damn, it's been far too long since i've been into basketball. thought it was just a teenage fad but apparently not. being a spectator can be pretty fun too. all that energy and chant chant chant. whistle. pass. dribble pass dribble pass and  shoots and misses and oh...jumps!  REBOUND! SCORE! say what? hell yeah!

team zombies > team ninjas and the acest of ace times.
too appreciative i am.

bopping to black sabbath.

4 year old nephew : i had a dream AND a nightmare.
me : what's the nightmare about?
4 year old nephew : about sooo many aliens. and a humongousaur!
me : a humongous dinosaur?
4 year old nephew : nooo.............that alien from ben10!
me : and your dream?
4 year old nephew : about a boy and a girl saving the world!
me : how did they save the world?
4 year old nephew : i don't know!!! i opened my eyes and the dream was gone!

---

well ain't that typical. ha. ha.
if you're celebrating crimbo/kwanzaaargh/or just celebrating because you want to, stay safe and all that jazz.

tunes as of late : iron monkey / dystopia / cypress hill / ddmmyy 
texts as of late : various graphic novels. and revisiting burn collector.

battle tomorrow. could seriously do with a new right arm. like way.

: (i) comic convention in hollywood. robocop was almost late for a live outdoors talk show. stood backstage and saw various characters wrapped in grey blankets and strapped to beds and if they were not able to answer a question, they'd be catapulted to the audience. host of talk show spoke to stage manager and i during commercial break and asked if we bought his new comic. stage manager said it was difficult to get plastic wrapped comics in hollywood and the only comic she regularly got was some shonen knife inspired one , 'the banana chips'. something like bananas in pyjamas. :

: (ii) driving around mom's neighbourhood. saw a lot of peepz hanging out in their backyards, by the pools, with their dogs. there was a old man hanging out with politicians from yesteryear discussing fences. his neighbour had four dogs and he almost hosted a circus/carnival-esque party but that didn't work out. i then instructed driver to go to the nearest shop for butterscotch icecream. :

tron : legacy 2010 sucked big time.
imagine not watching it in 3D.
what is next on the cards? d.a.r.y.l? sixteen candles? pffft.

: (I) saw a lost cat loitering around the premises and decided to adopt it. it was a cross between 'patches' and 'cookie dough'. a rather huge cat not keen to me carrying it so i let it go but then it followed me into the elevator. a moody elevator that refused to stop at the desired level. up and down it went and i had to get off a few levels below and take the stairs. adopted cat went into my house and mother said i had to give it a bath. (II) at the beach with friends and wading in the water when we saw baby alligators with lizard heads swimming around. we were able to dodge them and finally they waddled to the shore, back to their home, ten feet under the sand. :

the morning has been :
joie de vivre 's 'the north end' (contender for best album of 2010)
your neighbour the liar (both cd eps).

hello to another crazy week ahead!

humour

shifting gears for parallel parking.
you continue to amuse so never cease i say.
rehashed and repeated and recycled ideas.
wrapped and disguised in the name of _____________________________.
to the new blinded audience.

*smirks*

---

highlights of sunday :
jazz + soul mix cds, the jam session 10",  beautiful skin lp,
boris + qotsa on digital format.

apparently, listening to dubstep before slumber isn't a very good idea.
strictly involuntary i must add.
anyhow...that induced a whole lot of nightmares featuring the worst lot of humankind.
perhaps in this case, using the word 'human' would be too kind. hah. joke.

the other night, i dreamt i grew my own toffee apples.
how rad is that?!
they were the size of chupa chup lollies and they stood on styrofoam trays.
don't remember tasting them but i bet they were good.

---

invalids may invade.
invalids may conquer.
but like anything else and everything else, only ephemeral they are.

listening to 2 litre dolby.

lacking of and overdosed on

06122010 - 12122010
i probably had a grand maximum of 30 hours total sleep time.
that's not much.
not much sleep = not many dreams and/or
snapshots of images erased once awake.

will make the effort because we need to be recharged.
in order to function. properly.

06122010 - 12122010
also marked as one of the craziest weeks in probably a decade.
thanks to all those responsible.
you know who you are.

riding /the/ rollercoaster on extreme speed.
sans brakes.
sans breaks.

high-fives all round.

as long as you are moving
breathing, still.
react, reflect, remember.
always.

selamat awal muharram 1432.

xox

hello from across the sea.

: had to sub for a couple of teachers. in one class i had to discuss the different components of english paper 2 and suddenly time pushed fast forward and i did not have enough time to discuss all the components and could only cover grammar rules. for another class, they had just finished second language and the teacher's desk was in a complete mess. the exercise books were not stacked accordingly and i browsed through to see what sort of work they did and none of them related to the subject at all. for the final class, i met a dance instructor i absolutely detest (this is real - this dance instructor exists and i really hate her) and she was busy sorting out costumes with the students and that took up a lot of my time so i decided not to teach and sit on the desk and play around with a stereo that had twin-cassette players. :

: was about to leave with big sister when i felt a slight pain in my mouth and checked my teeth. one molar fell out. and then the other. :

loss of teeth is usually a bad omen.
usually.

and enough with school dreams, already!!!
oh come on, (sand)mannn...

been listening to sweater weather and the likes.

last night :

: (i) this acquaintance of a person i once knew had just heard the news and was about to have her say when i went up to her face and started lecturing her about goals, dreams and ambitions that had influenced my decision and she actually bought it. like being in a hallmark movie. (ii) a band i like from malaysia played in a school hall with athletes and cheerleaders in the background doing some funny synchronized moves and i was part of the audience who were throwing flowers around. (iii) had to co-teach a new class with an ex-colleague and it was a long climb up to the classroom and when i was just about to introduce myself to the students, ex-colleague suddenly wore an animal costume. it was a cross between a wolf and a squirrel and it made sense in the dream but typing it now, it sounds really fuckin' ridiculous. (iv) sleeping on my bed and out of nowhere two cats appeared. one looked like lulu, and it was pawing my head to wake me up and when i did wake up (in the dream) they both hid inside my pillow. awww... :

compared to before, dreaming about cats this time was not annoying.

some other nights ago :
(when i last heard coma regalia from quantis/coma regalia 7")

: (i) carried a bucket full of water down eight flights of steps. goodness knows what the reason was. and then met my mom at the elevator. she was with her brother and they were about to surprise-visit me but i insisted i threw away the water first. *shrugs* (ii) lived in a dorm and kept running from room to room looking for i-can't-remember-what and going up and down the building, bumping into colleagues and my neighbour who looked like some famous blogger kept barging into my room. his name was elvis. (elvis with brown hair is really wrong, don't you think?)

and some other nights ago, SAA came over again. yeah.

i'm officially on holidays.
oh how fun.

last heard :
ethel meserve - the milton abandonment lp
joie de vivre - the north end lp

: went to an art installation and was dancing along to the music in the background when i was spotted by some dance instructor and he asked me to point my toes forward. upon doing so, he asked me to audition and his studio was in some school i once taught. the given choreography was no apple pie but i pulled through. stretch stretch slide slide and some people who were supposedly my ex-classmates dropped by and laid out carpets on the floor. :

spinning noisy records to jumpstart the monday morning.
now when was the last time i did that?!
oh it's been far too long and i've missed you...hello 1999.

slept to  first band on the moon .

: part I. i was sitting in a garden and there was a tree with giant bananas shaped like mangos hanging on branches. but they were bananas, alright. all nice and yellow and i was informed not to pluck any. and if i did, i had to pay 35$ for each banana. but it was a public garden and i tried to look for hidden cameras in the trees. part II. i was in dress rehearsal supposedly managing sound cues. it was amazing how i was able to be backstage and in the soundroom at the same time. felt like i was in a kanye west video or something. part III. in a village of playhouses and saw transvestites standing outside their doors anxious about goodness-knows-what. very desperate housewives-ish. part IV. had to collect a couple of paintings for a friend. huge paintings on canvases larger than me. one was abstract with really nice benetton colours and the other was just dipped in green with images of manga characters drawn with a comb. i told him they looked more like the elves on the magic elves chocolates. :

feels like sunday.

male bonding is a terrible name for a band.
absolutely terrible.
they're not the best but they do have some catchy tunes.
especially the ones that sound like the beatles.

is sleeping four hours considered sleeping at all?
i reckon it's like a very long nap.

: i was in school with ex-colleagues and we kept debating which classes to take and after, i had to contemplate between various modes of public transportation . at first i was on a double-decker bus which refunded my fare. then i was in a chariot riding through the skies. and i took pictures of clouds. and there was a particular one where the clouds formed a tunnel and i saw a couple of mythical creatures in the cloud tunnel getting married in pink and brown frilly, lacy costumes. :

enough male bonding. and other bands of the ilk.
let's see what tonight entails.

a plethora of

: some dude gave me his cap for no reason. puzzling and irritating at the same time. there were other miscellaneous events not worth documenting. :

: this girl i sort of know showed me her room and her wall was plastered with various band posters and scrappy punk show flyers and amidst all that were my letters and postcards. (IRL : i've never corresponded with her. ever!) : woke up to dead prez's bigger than hip hop in my ears. for rillaz.

: in  a room full of strangers who were supposedly my friends, high on hedonistic activities. at the corner of my eye, at the threshold, was SAA looking his best and he gave me the nicest  smile ever and nodded with his eyes at me to continue whatever i was doing. :

for once, it was not upsetting to dream of him.
pretty damn glad he visited, really.

mean sunshine invaded my sleep and upon listening to joie de vivre,
the sky turned grey...

what do you make of that?

a couple of nights ago. in a bus.

: 1. i was swimming backwards in somebody's pool. 2. when i got out of the pool, i was standing in mid-air and clouds drifted through my neck. 3. i was then staring in a mixing bowl and spreading orange sauce. :

so that is what happened when i dozed off to  four great points  after ill communication.

shuffle can be annoying. sometimes.

resume project dream_experimentation

used to do this diligently a decade ago.
(before i hopped on the blogspot bandwagon)
to sleep to a particular album and see if it induces any dreams / recurring dreams if said album is repeated.

last night : grifters - one sock missing

dream : i floated in and out of parallel worlds.
then saw myself standing on a cliff.
looking at the vast open sea.

it's a start.
what do you dream about?

familiarity of the unknown

...it does not help that *y*ou traipse in and out of my dreams like a casual lover and it does not help that there are impossible possibilities strongly desired to be ignored and perhaps one day to be forgotten but there *y*ou are. *y*ou were there before and now here *y*ou are again. bitter*sweetness...

i demand an entirely new distraction.
(or do i really?)

listening to the entire deleted art catalog.
and celebrating nostalgia which has recreated new meanings and definitions.
so neu.

the future is beautiful.

: driving in circles. from one house to another. to my maternal grandmother's old house and back. having to babysit non-existent children. waiting for goodness-knows-who and running away from goodness-knows-what. to suddenly being transported to a smashing pumpkins concert in some beaten down club. to being transported to the shops near my house. and looking at ugly batik dresses and buying electronic goods with my boss. :

at least i'm not dreaming about cats.
it was starting to get annoying for a bit.

the.murder.city.devils.
over and over and over....

previously,
: hung out at a record store owned by one of my favourite heroes. ventured to the back room and met friends who had a daughter. the little girl looked about three, maybe four, years old. she was cute. didn't want to bother them so went back to the entrance to look at various potted plants and play with record store owner's cats. there were three cats. the fluffy marmalade one was the friendliest. :

last night,
: at a science lab in high school and had to help the teacher with test papers and my task was to write the answers on the whiteboard. (?!) i wrote in abbreviations in red ink and then i had to sit for the said test. (?!?!) time was running out and yet i went for a stroll down the corridors. :

project proof-reading,
rewrite, rewind - overdrive.

do the tango in the night where the air is warm and the lights are off.

struck

change my routine just for a slight bit and it feels like a house landed on my head. a bungalow with a trampoline in the garden and maybe a koi pond. urghhh...

: again, i am supposed to travel with him (SAA). by car. he drove. he kept asking me to check if passports were ready and some other travel documents. tickets and forms and whatnots. we were supposed to convoy but that didn't happen and we were just driving, driving, driving, when i forced myself to wake up because it was just getting far too mental...:

: received the news that i was pregnant and all i could think of was....................wait for it.......... milkshakes! went to that terrible fast-food joint but of course, the milkshake booth had to be shut because the machine was out of order and thus i trudged my way over to another terrible fast-food joint and settled for some mediocre beverage and cold fries. also, i was stuck feeding a tree monster pebbles and stones. meh. :

be a good child and listen to elk.
come on, now.

: so he (SAA) came to pick me up clad in what was his once all-time casual-wear and we were supposed to travel together to some far off place. there was this huge private jet in the backyard. all fancy and stuff. take off. and i am still on the ground looking at the sky. looking at the jet...setting away... :

q : what is worse than dreaming about milkshakes?
a : waking up to none.

suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.

occupied by a duo from brighton.
oh so, nevermind.

heavy

: ran up and down a government office. kept checking documents in my locker. repeatedly. endlessly. shifted to a face i would like to drive my knuckles in. switched to me going for a job interview at some education centre. the appointment was supposed to be at 12:21 and i was early. as usual. time up and the boss was nowhere to be found and receptionist told me to come back at six in the evening. and she received a helluva thrashin' from me. of course. then went to a convenient store to look at umbrellas. they were either yellow or orange or red and i almost got an umbrella with cat prints on it. the umbrella wasn't too small or anything but i felt like i needed something much bigger than that. switched to me in an empty room surrounded by chubby, fluffy kitties. adorable to the core. the best was a clown cat. really. it was ash grey and it had a lion's mane but the mane was in royal blue curls. clowny indeed. :

listen to moth dust.

00110001 00110000 00110001 00110000 00110001 00110000

: so i went to see this really awesome band and i had the band tshirt but it was yellow and i did not really like it but was proud that i had it anyway and i was all geared up in 1970s sportswear. tucked in tshirt, shorts with stripes at the sides and knee high socks and all... and the show was in a casino and the band decided to do an acoustic set and when i went out to get some air, i met my colleagues from work. what an absolute downer!!! :

it's a feelgood playlist.
oh yes.

--->
them ants were crawling all over my left thigh and twice a greyish-white kitten stood in the corner of my room. and its tail brushed against my left calf. tiny white circles encompassing and pink streaks flashing and the stairs moved back and forth. like it was yesterday.
<---

---

: i found myself enrolled in a police academy but there was no physical training. and i only had to be there once a week and do lots of written quizzes and write essays and listen to boring lectures of road safety. what gives? :

" easy come easy go.
easy lucky easy blow.
cut my finger you will see.
the happiness in all of me. "

music from before and after has never been better.
thanking all those responsible.
yes you know who you are.

xox

devotion II

be blinded not by fairy lights
and saccharine sweets on glittering trays.
but by your constant faith and gratitude which shines the brightest
on the darkest of days.

---
merry eid mubarak 1431.

xox

take down your art

why the need to display it
why the need to justify every single word and action
why make the effort
why go the distance
why bother to try to prove

because it was never yours in the first place.

p.s. the fine line between a scrapbook and book of scraps.

listen to german metal.

suffocate

i have been dreaming of people and places with moments that do not fit.
a collage of many jigsaw puzzles with missing pieces and duplicates.
sometimes i do not want the dreams to end.
but that is just how it is.
one never knows what the ending is.

continuously continuing

there is tranquility in my turbulence.
treacherous tragedies
tremendously
triumphed by tenacity.

oh word play is fun.
play = fun?
non?

listening to indiedancegaragesurfrock bands from this decade and millenium.

devotion

to honor and uphold
to abstain and refrain
to reflect and ponder
to conserve and nurture
to struggle to strive to sacrifice

to be ever chaste. to be ever silent.

---

Ramadhan Mubarak. Ramadhan Kareem.

xox

been dreaming of incidents of the following day.
thrice this week.
nothing horrendous or frightening or strange.
just stuff of what would happen at work and at social events.
premonitions in dream state?
or just my mind preparing, preparing, preparing,
as always.

---

they say : go to the light at the end of the tunnel.
i say : observe the intricacies of the darkness,
and appreciate that all five senses are still in function.

listen to the carpenters.

: of hand-written notes and my vitamin consumption in my kitchen :
don't bother. don't care.

: of monkey shape-shifters and invasion of vampires in the backyard of some house. : true blood, much?

"if i jump, will i survive?"
inception 2010. (my second movie of the year)

you say, "jump."
i say, "please do."

listen to kate nash (circa 2007) on repeat mode.

: I. for a primary school it was huge. there were more than four blocks and twice i was almost late for class and i had to run in the rain. :

: II. hung out with miss s.j. her apartment was down the road from where i lived. then i offered to accompany her to an ikea convention and a rolex exhibition. :

: III. there was  a hole in my bathroom wall and children wanted to go through it as a shortcut but i managed to plaster up the hole. before plastering, i smacked a boy and pulled his ear cos he walked through while i was about to have a shower. :

:IV. pink shoes. there was a brand new pair waiting to be worn and i wondered which outfit would go well with them.:

when was the last time i dreamt of pink shoes? seven years ago? gosh.

listen to army navy.

bigmouth strikes again

invaded and conquered
constricted and constrained
devouring every inch
you no longer can refrain

what is your choice of weapon
what is your choice of fear
what is your choice of defeating
what you once cradled so dear

a huge masquerade is paraded
displaying the frolic and farce
victory and applause demanded
no matter how meager nor sparse

cloaked in your own delusions
bathed in your filth and remorse
more rounds of cliched tragedies
without waiting no stutter no pause.

*curtain calls*

xox

prime

on the sixth of the sixth,
a moniker was decided to be reminded
of a moment or an era.

this year,
under the turbulence of good food and company,
the sixth was just like any other.
like a fifth or a thirteenth or twenty seventh.

but of course,
time can be tricky.
and it can contact its faithful servants : nostalgia and flashback.

the sixth may have past
but it was still celebrated
and held sacred.

like once upon a time.

---

greysweater/gryswtr turned eleven.
and i have never had a better audience.

listen to bohemian rhapsody.

xox

hand ablution

objectives
to abolish dirt.
to absolutely dismiss.
to give no attention nor pay no further heed.

and most importantly,

to be completely removed from any involvement,
and truly, clearly and unquestionably,
to be completely disassociated,
for now and hereafter.

---

instructions have been noted, reiterated and ingrained.
operations of instructions have been tested, performed,
made habitual, customary and ritualized.
results have been constantly proven.
aims and objectives : achieved.

: some days ago i had to sit for a primary five math test and last night it was a primary five science test. the best part was i could bring home the science paper and prepare for it. the problems were mostly about mashed potatoes and calculating the angles of shadows. tres silly. :

yes, i know i asked for a different sandman.
and i should not complain.
but having to sit for tests?
come on, now...i'm on holiday...

guard duty

can i get another sandman please?
i promise not to wheeze nor sniffle.
ta.

what a nightmare!

: students invaded my house and brought a backlog of long-forgotten essays which meant i had more marking to do and they refused to leave. some even invited their friends over to watch tv and raid my fridge. then i had to hang out with people from my past who bore no meaning nor relevance to my life. such  peskiness. then a small, little, calico kitten came inside and went to the kitchen and i gave him a bowl of milk. :

it is the holidays!!!
no more classes, no more books... well, not for a couple of weeks anyway.

ta ra!

xox

down under

there is this particular dream that's been bugging me all week. why is it bugging me? because i can't remember for the life of me what the name of the silly  band is! all i know is they're supposed to be from perth. (from the late 90s.) it's not freud's pillow nor red jezebel. and i was thinking team jedi but it's not team jedi nor turnstyle but i swear they looked familiar. anyways....

: it was in some warehouse / big open space venue. and i was sitting on top of large box. "unknown" band played first. followed by le tigre. (yes, i knowww le tigre ain't from australia but in MY dream they were.) kathleen hanna was talking to me at some point but i wasn't really paying attention. and the third band was adam said galore and i shouted at them to play 'the shampoo song'. and they did. what on earth? it was a very fun gig and i enjoyed myself tremendously. yay. :

there have been loads of other vivid dreams but they are not worth remembering so i am not going to document them. as of late, the dreams have been in colour. it's been a while since they've been in monotones.

ra ra ra.
the long awaited weekend is here!

listen to swing kids. 

xox

: (i) was trying on a pair of  beige/cream slip-ons. they were just a bit too big for me and i decided not to buy them. saw another pair of similar coloured shoes that i knew would fit me perfectly but they were rather expensive. i did tell myself i would return some day for that pair. :

: (ii) at a hairdressing salon and i told the stylist to chop off my locks. the fringe was very spock-ish. the back was quite uneven. and when i looked into the mirror, she held my hair tightly and snipped off in one cut. :

: (iii) went from one jewellery shop to another trying to sell off stuff that once meant the world to me. but they said it was not possible but if i wanted, they could look after it. like a bank. :

there are holes in the walls.
cracks on the floor.
scratches and scrapes and bruises galore.

how a monument was adorned.
is adorned no more.

crumbles and pieces
shatter and pour.

washed up against the surface.

scars, wounds and  remnants
of an unforeseen war.

they remain. and remain. right to the core.

xox

: went to new zealand and had to chaperone three fifteen-year old boys who only talked about automobiles and one of them had three legs. :

: went to rome with miss y. and we traipsed around the cobbled streets, in and out every single second-hand bookstore. there was one that sold really beautiful postcards and i was interested in a huge leather-bound book that documented the different types of postcards throughout the years. it was off my budget though. i think it was 65euro but in the dream, it converted as 300singapore dollars. i looked across the street and it was Japan. and there i saw my beloved younger sister and her husband dancing with people dressed up as neko cats. tried to get a picture but i failed. :

we are walking on shaky grounds, you and i.

i will walk across steadily, without fear, to greener pastures.
my journey will hurt but the pain is only temporal.

are you going to do the same?

or are you just going to falter, like a flower that will only survive when watered...

xox

a merry un-birthday

dearest gryswtr,

here's wishing you a very happy 8th birthday!
and may there be lots more to come!
may the dreams come a'rollin
and the hallucinations come a'kickin.
and may everything else climb and collapse
in never ending absurdity.

xox

when familiarity breeds contempt

once upon a moment, digits and letters held meaning in a heart. but a two headed king called time made meaning better and worse and constantly altered it. meaning constantly weighed on scales to find its balance. the digits and letters clutched to whatever memory that remained and painted facades over and over again so that the heart would not be empty. for an empty heart was pointless and had no reason to survive anymore. time would test and conquer and defeat uncontrollably. however, a masked heart will one day reveal itself and the digits and letters will crumble victoriously buried in the moment. the heart will thus be empty but there are stains to remind it of what remained before. heart will consult the mind and the mind will give never ending solutions and options.

a damaged heart is not a dead heart.
it is only wounded to be revived and resuscitated.
for new digits. for new letters.

a resurrection will be held ceremoniously.
but only on time's terms and conditions.

will the heart ever dare to place another signature?

maybe and maybe not.

xox

all housed up

some days ago :

: i had an option of three houses. in no order, there was an apartment in prahran, melbourne australia and while it was convenient, i felt that i'd be far away from my family. then there was a really huge house with big colourful rooms but everything was hidden behind closets and secret pathways...it was like living in a pop-up card. finally, a decent house but couldn't step in because it already belonged to someone else. :

last nite :

: 1. a travelling cult who just arrived in malaysia got my number and wanted me to come over. my family and i were ready to call the authorities but before i could get the exact location of where they were, the phone line cut us off. the lady who called was dressed in white and i somehow imagined her floating above a lily pad in the middle of a lake in the middle of nowhere.

2. new house. the basement was where it was at! the sprites loved it and it was their playroom and then he moved in and it became his room. but the sprites continued playing there in the day. there were five televisions but only one remote. *switch* same scene but i had to entertain visitors from abroad and infidelity almost took place but i did not feel guilty at all.  :

woke up staring at the wall...mouthing out these words...
"where is the faith?"
we all hope and we all care and we want difference.

there will be difference.
but only if you want to.

i need to.

xox