: so me and miss y was on our way to london. and before that i went over to her place and whilst she was packing, i thought of going online. had a choice to user her tv but opted for the computer. and on top of the computer, there was this small rectangular tv. (kinda like a processor) and it was really really odd. i didn't actually get to go online though. as i was lingering around the house, i suddenly pulled out some very strange looking cable from my pocket.

then we were in singapore. and there were some sort of festivals. strange ornaments and decorations. very cuban.

after that, a boy from class started talking about music and loaned me a book about the birthday party. (funnily enough, it is by a person who is a cultural studies professor in australia.)

finally, a geeky boy aged 12 with thick glasses was walking around the institution holding a huge white vanguard sheet with the words 'mix tape club' and i thought i might help him out. :

this is from matt (tickle tickle):
mattkillsyou: oh oh! i almost forgot!
mattkillsyou: i remembered my dream from my nap today
mattkillsyou: and you were in it
mattkillsyou: you and i were in a train station for some reason and we couldn't find something, and random people kept arguing with us.
mattkilmattkillsyou: so then we left and went to a park and started spouting cliched philosophy
nadia: examples of cliched philosophy?
mattkillsyou: i don't remember exactly, but it involved a lot of looking at the sky and whimsical questions

me and train stations. again.

music: bis

so my holidays are over. bastard.

:matt(tickle tickle)'s screen name was 'fugazi' and he came online to tell me he had just purchased the 101 cd. (real life fact: he has never heard the 101.) then i hung out with older sis to find the perfect pair of bowling shoes but it never happened. they had the weirdest vans with pointed toes. i saw a pair of blue converse with blue laces and printed white stars but i put it back. i then found big sis playing a video game with some kid and i wandered around the store. it was supposed to be a shoe store but it had old issues of nme and national geographic and bad videos. finally i got to play a game with big sis. and it was a weird game but i can't remember what. suddenly i'm in the game. and everytime i win, i get to choose a type of 'strength'. by the 2nd victory, i was made to slit the heart of a crab. it was strange. like a human body that has been skinned and all that was left was the flesh but it was a crab. then mother decided to bring me home. scene goes to an office of a lecturer, and i start tearing the styrofoam walls down. and then i'm in a class about to sit for a test and everybody sat next to me hoping they could copy the answers. the fools. :

music has been nervous gender.

been waking up at 545am every day for 3 consecutive days. does not matter what time i go to bed. it’s like an omen. when i used to wake up at 3am for a week last year. dreams have been about abandoned houses and dark alleys.

and on the night of april 10 2003
i was climbing up a steep mountain of concrete. these steps filled with buddhist statues and bright red flowers. flowers of many variants. and siddhartha was there. his hair was long and silky and jet black. then i was in a supermarket. but i forget what i was doing there. next, i saw my cat sitting in a pot of boiling coffee. she did not seem to mind it at all.my mother wanted a haircut badly. we went up the stairs of a very old house but the hairdresser was not there.

and on the night of april 11 2003
i was sitting in the meadows with miss s and she was dancing to the music playing from a purple stereo. then i was supposed to cut my fingernails but that did not happen.

- spot a similar theme with the haircut and fingernails? yeah, i thought so too.

and last night, i was discussing some mathematical formulas with a lecturer. she seemed impressed with my familiarity of mathematical jargon. this dream i believe has no meaning. but what is meaning anyway.

bother.

music has been nintendocore. woo.

dear gryswtr blog,

i'm sorry i have not been updating you regularly.
don't worry, i'm not two timing you even though i have other journals elsewhere.
their content is different. "it's not you. it's me. "
also, i've not been sleeping very well or sleeping at all.
so dreams come and go. i have one from april 10 2003.
and i will let you know about it when i return from the institution later.

xox.

listening to pinback before sleep has induced the following:
: mr deller wrote a few children's books. can't remember the the one i read but had some of my poetry in it and the illustrations were mad crazy. i was living in a hotel that overlooked a weird park. was made to go father's mother's grave but that didn't happen. then i was stuck in the mall with a bunch of 18yr old kids with weird gadgets. also, i had to go to the institution to collect some things. there were too many buses. :