dreaming of work whilst i'm on break.
tsk.
maybe it's my students who are "thinking" about me.
cos if they are, that's just sad.
they're supposed to be reading or playing or being online
or just doing what kids do.
yes.

(i)school and hostel at kcpps. subjects were physics, chemistry, maths and bahasa. i was having problems with math i think but i wasn't too sure. my room was at 3g and cayang cat was supposed to bunk with me but i wasn't sure. there were kids from zimbabwe who had trouble with directions and mr no-neck asked me to ask mrs yew about something. who the fuck is mrs yew? some old teacher with a yellow frock with brown curly hair and gold rimmed glasses. never seen her before in my entire life.

(ii)had to go to an atm to top up my phone credit but problems occurred and many people tried to help including cayang cat but it didn't work. and suddenly an alarm rang and a lady behind me said i had to use the joystick which miraculously appeared to my left. i told her to mind her own business but she made the alarm stop.

such silliness.

listen to the specials.
*bobs head up and down*

in all honesty, dreaming about records isn't as bad as dreaming about food. it's ok if you can't afford it. but when you can, it damn right sucks that it's not easily accessible. damn you donuts. i swear i hate you.

listen to lil mama + avril lavigne...remix!

hello from across the sea!

: (i) father made me buy 8 copies of the same dictionary and bring it around for no apparent reason. (ii) made to socialise with others who wanted to socialise with others. what a fucking nitemare. :

current nitemare : i'm supposed to be downstairs mingling but of course it's not gonna happen. like i always say "not my friends, not my problem."

my happiness is more important than theirs.

listen to head wound city.

Dear Santa,

Please send me an unemployed identical twin a.s.a.p.
I promise not to rob banks and snatch old ladies' handbags anymore.

Ta.

Lots of Love,
gryswtr. xoxox.

invaded by fear and paranoia as of late.

: (i) him running after a japanese girl. (how cheap is that?) (ii) she was out and i was not aware but apparently it was in the news and she wanted to hang out with him. him only. to talk and listen to music. and she was knocked up during the absence and i was supposed to understand. :

the more you tell yourself not to care.
the more it bothers the fuck out of you.

you think paranoia will fade as you get older.
you gotta think again.

---
some afternoon dreams today included unknown visitors at my new place and i was informed about a resident ghost. it was freaky and funny and dumb at the same time.

---
dreams are meant to be shattered.
you plan, build and construct for x number of years.
you destruct in x number of seconds.

stating the obvious obviously.
but we're clothed in denial.
no matter how much we try to deny it.

listen to the smiths.

as of late:
: airplane crashes. switch of sexual partners. death and visiting the houses of the dead. there had to be some dreams of lessons too. somewhere in between. :

i'm fucking tired of waiting.
someone should slit my throat for giving a damn.

now why is it i'm not aware of world asthma day.
hrm...
many puns i can make of it but i shall not.
instead, i'll just make a lil reminder on here so maybe i'll be able to remember about it in future. the first tuesday of may. why?
beats me.

now.
if you have a choice,
between an asthma attack and drowning?
which would you prefer?
it's not an easy choice.
and i said "if".

listen to the devils in my ears whispering of the beautiful barren land from the underside. come come, my darling. forget and erase.
chopping off my locks seems like a great idea too.

as of 06.06.07,

greysweater/gryswtr is eight years old.

it's been a sweet journey and it ain't stoppin'.

hearts, souls, minds and felines.

.xxx.

from across the sea.

: part of some game show where we had to work in teams. where we managed some television cum radio show and it was really crazy with a lot of people climbing on top of you (literally) and drawing on the ceiling. lots of laundry and living in funny houses. and at the end we had to body surf over some crazy crowd and we were given some free magazines. oh, the horror. timewarped into melbourne and was on the same bus with this girl i used to know who worked in a record shop i used to frequent. and she spoke to me and i missed my stop and she got off at chinatown and i had to get off at the last stop at some deadly ghost town. and i took the train and ended up at changi airport in singapore and met some acquaintances who were in the midst of some work test. :

standstill.
i wish it was all normal again.

does the number of hours count, really.
does it make it any more valid.
does it justify every single action, gesture, movement.

fuck all.

i don't need your glory.

: full blown lesson at the madrasah. for some unknown reason, i wrote my full name on the whiteboard. instead of them doing a test, i had to go through half of the testpaper with the class as most of them had trouble comprehending. (which is usually the case in trl). my next lesson was at xps and the teacher in charge reminded us not to be friends with anyone from myanmar as they were mostly murderers. that was plain silly and xenophobic of her to make such a comment. one of the students was an ex-classmate from college and i sort of denied that because i did not want to re-live the past nor speak of forgotten memories. :

: was on a trip with the family and i stopped at a treehouse-store and took a photo with a hat shaped like a turtle shell. apparently themed after my favourite cartoon, rahrin the turtle. (what the...?) :

who's rahrin? i don't knowww rahrin...

--->
my entire face sucked in and my head branched into two. fingers sprouted from my fingers, hands from my hands, almost clutching my head and my body...when my laptop had teeth and started biting the air. quiet, numb and blurry vision.
<---

thirty seconds of escapism...

on the night of friday the thirteenth:

: through heathkid, i was recommended to 'ted's'. a swinky swanky poshy restaurant in new york. i didn't have to do much and most times i was babysitting bratty japanese kids. or having to sit with old desperate rich chinese women. the menu wasn't too great but the kitchen was amazing. a chinese man in his 40s, mr sim, a customer, then proposed to me, despite him being married already. he was a math teacher who had a great sense of humour and i was scared and flattered at the same time. (???!) i lived near ted's and the monorail ride home was amazing. going through a surreal city and parks with bookshop/cafes in the middle where people could read and at the same time pick up any piece of fabric available on the shelves and make their own craft. :

who's ted? i don't knowww ted...

le sigh...

dreams about work.
dreams about people from work.
dreams about me at work.
dreams about the same dreams.
this is getting boring.

perhaps i should start listening to music again just before slumber.
perhaps.

changing times and moving on.
but it's still the same.
i haven't changed.

and it's good to constantly be deciphered.
and still prove them wrong.

xox

from across the way.
5 hours away.

: part I. walked into town barefoot in my comadre shirt and my non-existent black reebok shorts. fascination with free origami handouts at the back of borders and met up with cayangcat and suragani. and we went to world of sports and checked out shoes and by that time i already had slippers on. part II. went to a goth club and checked out bad electro-clash on a really bad stereo and all the freaks had really bad makeup on. :

listen to ritchie valens.

work. and work.
and performances and teachers.
and plays and recitals.
and students. and work.

i'm sure i could have better dreams than those.

---

and i have this dammit janet song (from the rocky horror show) stuck in my head.
so not funny.

dreams of paranoia.
dreams of rashes.
dreams of dreams and everything in between.

work has been good.
health has been no good.
i am not complaining.

as of 02022007, gryswtr@blogspot.com is 5 years old. presents are very much welcome.
alternatively you can send me an email or sign the guestbook by clicking on the word 'contact' to your left.

listen to material girl by madonna.

---> (of 05jan07)
"never mix it with black tea", she said, and when you're just about to collapse into slumber, the invisible finger switches your mind on. inhaling the nicotine strongly, absorbing the air around you with strange fondness. and she was friendly for the first hour. making conversation and feeling a little too confident. crashing the final hours with a splitting headache and it had to rain at the precise moment. luck was on her side when she met her lover and they held hands throughout the nite...
<---

where art thou's dreams?
my new bed and mattress are horrible and giving me backaches. hence lately, for the first few minutes of wake-ness, instead of reminiscing, i end up cursing and worrying about my spine more than anything else. but constantly reminding myself, this is only temporary. and the new abode will come before i know it.

blue oyster cult still...