a tip for visitors. (this is not a dream, you fools.)

when visiting someone at the hospital, ALWAYS bring something. anything. a card, a flower, an apple, a jigsaw puzzle, a mix tape, a comic, a magazine, a biscuit, a stuffed animal, a sock, an ear plug, a paperclip, a colouring book, a magnetic star, fruit juice... it may save the patient's life. trust me.

DO NOT come empty handed and ask how's the weather or how the operation was. it does not only annoy the fuck out of the patient, it also annoys the walls and the furniture. i know this very well.

and that perverted bastard once said:

"imagination is more important than knowledge."

heil heil.

: some unknown kid came over to my house to check out records. and we listened to a drive like jehu split 7" with jimmy eat world. the dlj tracks were amazing and i kept raving about how ace 'bullet train to vegas' is. oh yeah. then he said something about green day and then i told him that i wanted to get the depeche mode single with 'somebody' on it. mighty good conversation. :

level plane records have good stuff.
examples of good stuff:
i, robot discography cd, indian summer discography cd, knives and green water split 7", racebannon 7" and the walkmen 12". i've not heard of the walkmen but the band name is interesting. hahaha...some shallow-ness for you.gimme gimme gimme.

remember to attend my funeral this saturday.
attire is casual/smart. byob.

tonight i'm staying at the hospital.
send me text messages if you know my number.

xox

: book shopping with father. i think it was MPH. he was keen on getting me something that was on penguin so he went and i was left on my own and picked up 3 zines. they were maximum rock n roll types, punk propaganda and such. also on the shelves were really obscure pornography zines...really hard to describe...a bit graphic but at the same time....

anyways,

the next scene was a mix of home and school. and i was supposed to do a physics exam that involved theoretical car racing. (this is not making sense...i know) and then i received a letter. on the envelope it said 'belgian zine/newsletter' but it was a normal handwritten letter from some kid in singapore. and enclosed were photobooth photos of older sister in the forest with apes. :

tonight is another hospital scene...

sound : so what do you listen to before someone goes for a cancer operation, huh?

: it has been about sodastream, family matters and pregant women playing soccer. :

no medication for 3 days.
can you tell?

sound : arab strap 'elephant shoe' cd.

last night i took one tablet of imovane.
that knocked me out for 6 hours. woah.
no dreams no nothing.
it is almost scary.

sunday night:
: i am in singapore again. jurong east mrt station. me little sister and dad. waiting for my ex boyfriend. he came. and he's supposedly to be dad's tour guide. (wtf?!) halfway through the journey, ex boyfriend bailed out. dad furious. we are now in the forum shopping mall. but it is really dark and dingy...suddenly i am in the room with adm. and it was highly sexual and monochrome. :

received records in the mail this morning.
but i still feel the same.

treatment begins monday may 20 2002 4pm.

continued...

night two
: i am 13. i am constantly going on trips and excursions. keep on returning home. keep on packing my bag. keep running. and running. in a fast food outlet that had a menu similar to a&w's and the place was mostly patronised by male homosexual couples.

then suddenly i am facing my asthma doctor.
he gives me a huge packet of synflex.

scene suddenly changes. i dip my fingers in paint.
fingerpainting the trees. :

night three
*damn nurses kept coming in every hour. and that totally ruined it. different dream every time. and of course, i cannot remember all.*
* in no chronological order *

: more meetings with classmates from 2nd year of high school. they are somehow involved with the postcard trade club. and i was supposed to help mail out some of their letters. then i was brought to uni to where the frat kids hang out. and i commented on how awful their stereo was and that they should get a new one.

tom (from tom and jerry) is best friends with sylvester (from sylvester and tweety).

singapore. across far east plaza. but the royal holiday inn looks totally different. all white and squarish. i am at the taxi stand. a long mercedes limousine arrives. it is 1/2 pink, 1/2 silver and nicole kidman gets down with a blonde baby girl. she smiles at the waiting crowd, poses for the camera, then disappears into a fancy restaurant.

next. i am crawling into a gap in the rocks...by the sea. with tom cruise. we are now in a cave. he is frantically looking through old carboard boxes. searching for past issues of TIME magazines that contained pictures of kidman. :

no, i was not the patient.
yes, i did see many strange things.

back to life.

sound: -

7pm may 16th 2002 - 12pm may 19th 2002
damansara specialist centre
room : 265 - 266, bed 265

night one
: nominated best media studies award by shrek (not the real shrek. the you-know-who shrek). there were 3 shots of me doing the cheesy best student poses on some certificate-like paper. running around in that institution, i went to the highest level and it was all therapeutical. adolescent indian girls dressed in colourful saris were having their lessons conducted by these multi-level fountains. i roamed around aimlessly.

walked back to the exam hall which was located in some shophouse. took the wrong entrance. up a flight of stairs. and it was some punk-youth hostel. met a classmate from the 2nd year of high school. she removed her headgear upon seeing me and said she was married and showed me her toddler son (about 2 yrs old maybe) named eric. her husband was someone i do not know. she then excused herself to clean the music-lounge-pool-room and i was stuck with punk looking single mothers with babies and i went over to her desk and found a letter classmate she me. in that letter, she said that if i ever was feeling depressed, i should open up and be honest with her. i exit.

car park. van pulled over. david wanker at the wheel. i sat behind. was given a present wrapped in forever friends paper, from the juniors. they seemed excited.:

: armageddon. on a huge stage. with 5 other kids. in the middle of a vast field. and we dance to tricky. while huge balls of fire explode in the distance.

mackers sell chocolate donuts.

and i was given a baby boy. :

sound : sodastream

: had to go to a wedding that's in japan. i think it was osaka. but i am not too sure. after that i went to a chinese restaurant with older sister to eat sashimi and it was a total rip off. but the girl who served us was really nice. :

and that's about it.

sound : keyboard music

: 1.record shopping. again. (fuck. i honestly hate record shopping dreams.) this time it's a 7" galore where i picked up about 8 or 9 singles by arab strap and i,robot and some others. there were also #2 and #3 issues of heart attack but somehow i wasn't interested.

2.a walk to starbucks where they were promoting different flavours of hot chocolate. and i opted for pink passion.

3.camping in uni and i was forced to attend chemistry and maths classes.

then i stayed at the football coach's house and tried to sneak out but was caught. :

previous night:
: keep on running into technical classes and dead ends. also, a bald man was preaching the ideas of film making and a little boy then led me to watch gumby. but was actually mayor quimby and there were sepia shots of the simpsons.

then i walked into a bar that was playing destiny's child and a goth girl gave me a flyer for an indie gig that was gonna be in a church and that it'll start at 9am. i told her that i would love to go but the show was too early. :

sound : meanderthal's cover of they might be giant's "mammal"

: hanging out with a dude from makara. but claimed he's from another old-skool emo band called "benji". we're running away from some protest or demonstration in china. climbed up a barbed wire fence and managed to jump over. makara dude sprained his ankle and relied on me to get to the other side of the city. talked about the mix tape he made me. and i should check out this band called "legcross" or "legspots." hrm.

at the same time, i was involved in an art competition. and what we had to do was complete each other's drawings. mine was of faces and the paper i was given had an outline of the kl twin towers. and i was supposed to colour them in. so i used crayons and grey paint.

suddenly my fringe was short. :

lulu biting my hair as usual. and no, my fringe is not short.
a haircut trip tomorrow i hope.

sound : books lie "i felt like such a loser..." 7"

: * dammit...felt like i slept forever and that it was 8 but no. it wasn't even 1am. barely less than 4 hours of eye shut. and apparently i couldn't stop turning and mumbling. * 1. was debating with some kid (who was doing the homestay at my place) that nakargot by very secretary had the sound of leaves rustling in the background + some added effect. he then gave me a strange looking cake but i gave it back to him. (strangely i think he resembles one of the weird blonde haired kids i always see in the labs at uni.)

2. computer lab scene but it was almost like little sister's high school. too many people. overcrowded. strange logins and passwords. and pariah mothers with their babies clutching onto them. . .

3. pet shop. analyzing the behaviour of cats. ended up buying a snake. (and still trembling at the thought of it this minute.) like buying a plant, the snake was sort of standing still on a brown dish. i don't even know what type of snake it is. but it was greenish grey (or greyish green) with blue eyes. and suddenly i dropped the plate (and snake) and was having a sort of seizure. and my left arm was jerking and i was turning pale and the owner of the pet shop (or perhaps the vet) said that linux (snake) had bitten me and given me the case of "toe centipede". if i do not eat enough, the bite could also prove to be fatal. i nearly fainted. :

i woke up.