trip 24.12.2003 1100hrs
slowdance by the party of helicopters
--->
so my clone was playing guitar for the party of helicopters and i'm looking at her in disgust. "you don't know shit about guitars!" and there she was, my clone swinging round and round. it was pretty fuckin hilarious too.
<---

and dreams lately have been pretty much the same. recurring ones of shortening my hair or having a new do and receiving shoes. and the such.

it's all about transition.
i can tell.
i can so tell.

i've been ill.
what else is new?

mrs dee mrs eye
mrs eff af aye
mrs see mrs you
mrs 'ell tea why?

...skips around in joy and anxiety...

trip #...i can't remember now
--->
01. lulu growing really huge and standing up on her hind legs and talking to me while i was spacing out on my bed. she was also pointing at me and i really cannot remember what she said. it was kinda funny. 02...it is all about vibrations and drones and pointy images. sharp objects. the different shades of red pink and purple.

and most of the time i would feel like i was pulling my teeth out like they were elephant tusks and vampire fangs and my tongue would twirl and twirl and slap inwards and outwards of my mouth. also i would be pulling my hair out, strand by strand but just a bit. and it didn't really have a great impact.

<---

music lately has been sonic youth - nyc ghosts & amp; flowers 

trip #2 and #3
in no particular order
--->
01. he was a mad doctor holding a syringe in his left hand and acting as if it were a gun and he was about to shoot someone. 02. my brother in law flying a plane and speaking in a very thick australian accent while my older sister was the flight attendant and i was the only passenger on board 03. drowing in the sea in the north pole.

the entire world.
spinning. orbiting. circulating.
re-volving.

<---

it is all about surface of eceon. xxx.

trip #1. 20:00 hrs onwards...
(from what i remember)
--->
01. only laughter. 02. me spinning around the room. 03. vibrations and drones.. 04. mother was there. i think. 05. din said "we're so gonna sound like lightning bolt." and i said "no, we're not." and i shook my right index finger at him. "no no no" i said.
<---

excellent isn't it not.

: so me and mom were supposed to go down the escalators at some weird looking mall but it didn't happen cos they were out of order and we changed our mind and went somewhere else. next i was on a bus with grey cushioned seats. and it was kinda like those buses you take at the airport where you're going from one terminal to the next. and all the passengers are just sitting across each other. anyways, lots of babies and little children inside the bus. but they were not annoying so that was cool. :

i've been having a good weekend.
oh yes i have.

listening to some electronic / digital fuckery.

: castles. concrete grey castles. only the towers were visible. and there were many towers. and i laughed. :

that is all i can remember from the 3 hour death period.

i shall now resume and go back to "the uncanny."
as "the berry" might say.

>>>clockwork punk<<<

and immediately, on the spot, right on the dot, after exactly four hours, iris retina pupil rotate.
and orbit.

brain. function.

this is not funny.
the images have been erased.
and wiped away.

i do not like it.

this has to stop.
two more days to go.
and it will be a new diet.
it *has to* be a new diet.
it must.

sounds of the radio dept. 'pulling our weight' cdep and rocky dennis.

a box of prozac = rm200
a packet of xanax = rm50
plethora of miscellaneous pills = rm50
hospital bills + counselling = rm2500

the love from my family & friends  = priceless.

for everything else there's mastercard.
well actually, i use amex.

not a dream, kids.
not a dream at all.

: so i was in the same car as mr pierce and maddox. and for some reason, maddox had orange hair. pierce had blondish/brown hair. and he came around and gave me a big hug and asked if i had forgotten him. and we were on our way to some emo-screamo-schemo festival and we were comparing band tshirts from our backpacks. (oh how awesome.) and luckily for me, i brought my city of caterpillar and party of helicopter shirts. someone brought the same yaphet kotto tee as me. and a still life one. the still life tshirt was really nice. and then somehow i was teleported into pierce's room and there were all these photographs of maddox when maddox had black hair.

next. i was reunited with a friend from high school. (perhaps she is thinking about me as much as i am of her, or perhaps more.) and she still looked the same. and we stood outside my house, in the porch, and it was drizzling. a bit.

there was something about murder as well. not that i was involved in any way at all. i can't remember for the life of me and i woke up like two hours ago. hence. :