thunderstorms on a daily basis is almost cool. emphasis on *almost*.

: walked into a deserted mall. sometime at night. the foodcourt and to a japanese stall. where i had sticky rice with black sauce and raw salmon. went to the cashier and there was this english guy in front of me. we exchanged hellos and i sat far away from him. went to get myself a drink and when i returned, he sat next to me. engaged in a conversation about england. i asked if he knew jason slack from london. he didn't answer that but said that londoners were really snobby. not too long later, another girl joined us. i don't know who she is and after a while, we (me and guy) found her a tad annoying so somehow i told her to leave. but before that i got her email address or perhaps a phone number and promised to get in touch with her. suddenly me and guy are at my house, in my room and we're listening to records. he said he's the owner of mtv in 67 nations of the world. i wasn't impressed but i did ask him if he ever met craig david and he said yes. he picked out a honeywell lp and we were about to make out. so we were lying in bed and suddenly mother walked in. we denied everything of course and then he left and asked me to call him. he also left me 56$ for a pack of cigarettes i bought him. after his departure, i realized that he was actually the drummer of australian hardcore band 'identity theft'. he was bald but not as *huge* as the drummer. :

whatever.

there's a new guestbook. do sign it to let me know you're here.
i would be very grateful. thanks very much.

my stereo was sent for repairs yesterday.
fingers crossed all will be alright.
i'm so very nervous.
will have to depend on discman and walkman for now.

top 5 sounds of the week (in alphabetical order) :
death cab for cutie - i am a kaleidoscope
desaparecidos - what's new for all
karate - what is sleep
ida - arrowhead
the party of helicopters - slowdance

xox

: watching formula one at about midnight from my window. with some other unknown kids. but before the race, there were some "cheerleaders". ranging from ages 8-12 yrs. mix of boys and girls and they look more like zombies. one of the spectators was possessed and in order to get the devil out, i stepped on her left toe and she screamed and screamed and her eyes gradually faded from bloodshot red to super pure white to normal. :

yeah, that was a nightmare. i was supposed to wake up at 4. but decided not to. at 530, someone poked my back. i'm not sure who. maybe it was an angel. maybe not. i finally made the effort an hour later.

can't wait till the day is over and i'm gonna be on "...holl..lee..dayyyy...".
bring on the easter break!!!

sound = making a dub of the get up kids bootleg
(of the show i went to in melbourne - april 2000.)
*for the makeoutmedia kids.
surprisingly i can still mouth some of the lyrics! woo!

the highlight of last night :

: down syndrome kids. they keep appearing in every scene. somehow they would just appear and not go away. in one scene, it would be about obscure record stores with red sofas and blonde haired homosexuals and just at the corner, there'll be a d.s. kid staring right through me. or i'll be in psychology class and another d.s kid would be standing in front. just standing there. motionless. :

no, i don't think i have ds phobia at all.
it's just almost creepy why i'm dreaming about them.

: oh and there was this girl who appeared on mtv. and she was showing her teeth and for some reason, i held out the remote and pressed the repeat button so i could see that videoclip over and over and yes, she has d.s.... :

sound = desaparecidos 3 track cd sampler
(conor oberst = awesome)

*he* has dreams.

: i had a dream last night where we were hanging out again. and it was just like last time, really natural and sweet and hand holdy :) i am not sure where it was, it felt like england, but it was sunny, so maybe it wasn't :) i don't recall too much of it. i remember sitting at a table eating something with some other people (maybe some family members) and holding your hand. later you went a show but i chose not to go for some reason! you came back and said it was really good and you gave me a distro list and it had this split 7" with usurp synapse and some other band i can't remember and i was grr that i didn't go. :

: i was in this big field with that guy 'follow the bear' off the fracture forum, and there was some guy performing stunts in a strange balloon, he would dive down and nearly hit the ground and take off again. then he let this rope down and ftb jumped on it and got swirled all over the field. crazy. it went on for about 10 minutes then the balloon pilot stopped and i woke up. :

XXX

: tiny stuffed monkeys, alter egos, skiing trips and airports. :

so we watched 2 films yesterday.
1240hrs - milleur espoir feminin
1510hrs - kandahar

the time sessions should've been reversed or i wouldn't be so depressed.
kandahar is a slow, draggy and very disturbing.

sound = party of helicopters 'space...and how sweet it was' (2xcd)

i've been inventing food again.

: the other day, i stepped into my dream bookstore/library. and it had every single title i was after. instead, i was somehow directed to the book of chocolate shoes. when i took it, the shoes came to life. they were rather yummy as well. :

: last nite, i was on some art expedition and had apple biscuit ice cream.
they looked like super huge swirly lollipops. :

(i) later i am going to watch a movie.
it could be an iranian one or a cartoon.
what do you think? correct answer will win a prize.
(ii) assignments and presentations due next week.
and i don't know what the questions are. typical.
(iii) received a monstrous package from sncl distro 2 days ago.
all of you should join the mailing list and buy stuff.
the dude who runs it is king. hail hail.

songs of the week: fog by sodastream + what is sleep? by karate

: it's always the same these days. unknown faces, unknown buildings. strange occurences. it must be all due to the current state of mind. * :

* chaos confusion and nothingness

although once,
: the X watch was commercialized and i was none too happy. and i ran across the road to a girl in search of an 80's discotheque and met kids from high school. :

scribble.nu will be discontinuing it's services after may 1 2002.
so that means: reconstruction of grysweater, greyskll, greydays.
will probably shift it over to greysweater.envy.nu.
but. i will think of something else. i will.

currently, the greysweater book society has 3 members including myself. we sit around and drink tea and read random pages of catcher in the rye. membership is free and you need not necessarily consume tea. it could be hot cocoa too.

grand prix malaysia yesterday was better than last year's.
and i got sunburnt despite the abundance of sunblock.

sound = post rock mix tape from february 2000
(the aasee lake, 90 day men, paul newman, etc.)

: *you* just returned from alkaline trio with ian and simon. i couldn't see ian's face though. just his back and his hair. simon was really sweaty and his eyes were red and he wore a godspeed you black emperor tshirt (just like mine). we met up in a bookstore owned by an old chinese man. and simon passed him (the old chinese man) 2 mix tapes. they both had red covers with communist art. i sat on the red sofa with *you* while i flipped through simon's portfolio. it was just a huge book filled with his art and poetry when he was in year nine. i read everything in detail. *you* were tired. you wrapped your hands around my waist and leaned on me...and fell alseep. your hair is so soft. [just like how it is.just like how i like it.] :

: went to the airport in search of *your* friend from argentina. no description of how he looked like. just that he had long dreadlocked hair. and so i went. he supposedly was there. waiting to board the plane to nepal. so i spoke to him. and he had a weird name. and he did a funny (peculiar not haha) handshake. as he was about to depart, i asked which part of argentina he was from. he said "what? no, i'm from nepal." of course i was shocked. then i asked if he knew biju. (i used to know a kid of this name when i was studying in perth) and out of nowhere, his mother and sister were beside him carrying a baby boy wrapped in a royal blue blanket. and they said this was biju. i just smiled at the baby and behind me were the media people. and they were snapping photos of me and trying to interview me. i decided to avoid them. :

: running away, now in uni. on the seventh floor. with suzanna. we heard kenneth's voice. oh no. can't go through fifth floor. so we took the elevator. doors open, we are at the kuala lumpur city centre. brought her to the post office but instead it was a customs office. "but i swear it's here." yeah, whatever she said. :

last nite i was supposed to go to a play. it was cancelled last minute.
the city council decided not to give the permit.
may they rot and decay with the maggots and die in hell.

sound = the title lust

: scene one: the theme is country music. everywhere we went to, they were playing country music. cowboys, tight jeans and leather boots and a club called desperados. *perhaps this has to do with the new promise ring songs.* scene two: chaos again. running around in circles. and constantly trapped after every escape. :

last nite
: underwater village. well, not exactly underwater. but a village that is almost sinking. almost akin to the final scenes in a.i. and i am a trying to cross a wooden bridge with mother. we made it somehow. it was freaky. it was also kinda like the city of lost children. :

my throat hurts.

sound = 'jan pahechan ho' (1960's indian go go music. raaar.)

: in that building again. with lunatics again. all of them are coming after me. and there is no escape. and there is no way out. like a labyrinth. staircase twirls around in circles. running and pushing. and.... :

i scream.

sound = grifters 'just passing out'

: parents died in a car crash. me leaving the country. the background grey and white. i am yelling. i am going mad. i am going crazy. i am fucking insane : argh.

this room is so quiet

sound = peu etre x carther matha x rachael discography cd
(mmm...french goodness...)

: watching my cat being possessed by the devil. she (the cat) was talking on the phone and suddenly the entire house became topsy turvy. [shift] buying badges/pins/buttons of the locust. woo. they were really huge, camo background and had lots of japanese writing. [shift] living in a pre-war youth hostel. constantly moving from room to room. [shift] hanging out with nadra. she then sat at the tram stop while i ran across streets and down the pavements in the rain. :

sound = swing kids / crimson curse discography cds.

in no particular order.

: encounter with dennis rodman from the chicago bulls. i kept calling him scottie (pippen) though. he wasn't happy. he then asked me what his ambition was. i had no idea. he wanted to be RuPaul. :

: brought a screaming red haired lunatic back to her house. she was yelling and shrieking. so out of control. she said she had the pin number to my credit card. i said "no." i already changed it via phone banking. i ran back home. and dialled up the bank but of course, my phone *had* to be out of order. :

: desperately needing a drink. i am in melbourne, australia. on toorak road. we are at the junction and the nearest place was soda rock. it looked the same from outside but upon entrance, the entire place somehow turned into long john silver's. wanted to sit at the far end but was ushered to a room full of japanese and korean school girls. i had no choice but to eat salad instead of the apple cola soda i ordered. :

:concrete building. supposedly my house. i walk to the bathroom. and next to the bathroom is a diy hospital. for the loonies. :

awesome.

sound : thurston moore 'psychic hearts' cd

: it was all about anime. and i don't even read or watch or listen to anything related to anime. shrugs. a series of related occurences but nothing too deep in detail that i can remember or perhaps exciting enough to be stated here. what is definitely crystal clear: i walked with *you* one night and you held my hand and we went into a gift shop and you asked why i didn't buy the blue bag with printed white stars. i said i already had it. we looked at the price and it was $4.40. unsure of which currency it was. and i said i got mine for 7 bucks, apparently cheaper than that 4.40 one. then i ran away.... :

sound: mix tape with staircase, on the might of princes and the vida blue. (and some kid across the lab is listening to j-pop. mere coincidence, you reckon?)

:one] at their house again. playing nintendo. one of them was being spooky as usual. two] at another house. supposedly my birthday. too many six year olds dressed in pretty dresses giving me presents. they look like the girls in nightmare on elm street. three] hanging out with arab strap. *perhaps i should start listening to something else* four] kids in singapore wanted me to front their band. supposedly riot girl. trying my bestest to run away. five] 19th century europe. a field. woman and soldier running away. perhaps there was a fire. or even a war. their dog died. they skinned it and removed the head and decided to bring it back to life. :

sound: contemplating between sodastream and plunger.

lots of updates.

the original forum is down. due to several reasons.
you can read about it here.
for now, there is a new forum. and all is welcome.

kd mentioned about a "greysweater book club" in a recent email.
and i've been considering the idea.
not too sure on how to go about on it.
but anyway, i've posted my readings on greysweater.
if you have read any of the books, we could probably start a discussion.
or perhaps you have read something else similar.
and can recommend other titles/authors.

i start school (uni/college/tertiary education/etc...) tomorrow.
not looking forward to it.
but i'll let you know what happens. check gryskll sporadically.

greyskreen: due to envy.nu being down for a while, i didn't manage to update it.and also i have not been keeping a diary on the films i've seen. but i tried my best to recall.

musicwise...rather slow.
typically arab strap and bright eyes are in frequent rotation.

and that is about it. take care.

: going into a record store and the guy who owned/worked there had a reggae hairdo and was wearing a death metal tshirt. record he was spinning = janet jackson. it was supposedly a 10" single. shape was rectangular and the sleeve was a psychedelic blue. i browsed. and came across 3 records. one was "the constellation" lp that sounded like godspeed you black emperor, the other was arab strap's 'cast the diamond' 10" and i forgot the last one. (*of course, all these records do not exist. unless.) :

:going into a japanese bar and a gig was about to start. country/folk songs. most of them looked australian. :

more incidents but they decided to go through defenestration.

sound = i am spoonbender "where do all the words go"

: an open air macdonald's. the rain beating down on the guy dressed up as ronald. he was crying. he was upset. he was very very depressed. make up trickling down his face. and i walked on in that unknown city. barefoot. pebbles stuck on the soles. the caps of my blue fruit juice bottle came off. and my turntable was alright again. played a square 7" of with arms still empty. :

if only the final part of that image was true. *sigh*

sound = eleven eleven "watch me"